Do I Belong in a Long Term State Hospital?

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Recently all hell has broken loose in my life. I had been more or less well enough to function until 2006 and then took a nose dive until 2010, when I got myself in hand and got healthy physically and more or less, mentally. However this year has been a disaster with 4 or 5 hospitalizations. The real problem has been a series of delusions which have been supported by hallucinations. This last time I was in a different hospital than I had been before. They put me on a depot injection and in one of the meetings,
the social worker asked me “do you think you belong in a state psych hospital?” I almost jumped out of my chair and said loudly “NO!”

So she looked at me and said “You have a serious chronic, degenerative disease of the brain. It is not going to get better but will grow worse and worse. Do you really want to hurt your family by making them deal with that and with frequent hospitalizations? Maybe the security of being in a safe environment with some structure will help you.”

I’ve thought a lot about it. The weeks prior to this stay were nightmares and really that nightmare has not gone away. Could she be right? It just seems so hopeless to me. I always thought that as I got older, I would get better, but that is not panning out. What are your thoughts?

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It could be a good idea to stay for a time (months or a few years) in a safe environment until you get better, I don’t know if the hospital is the right place. Here we have things like assisted living communities.

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I don’t understand this do you have something besides schizophrenia? Schizophrenia is suppose to get better with age

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no. SZ is a degenerative disease. It is true that in the first few years of the disease it is more radical and that generally does ease up with maturity…however the brain cells continue to die as we age and this is especially true of SZ. Functioning levels get lower.

I do have some physical illnesses, the worst being three forms of auto immune arthritis that greatly impede my mobility and functioning.

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staying for a shorter span of time may be of some benefit. If i did, it is a sure thing that my husband will leave. He wants to leave now, as it is. That would present him with the opportunity…which wouldn’t be all bad for me either as he is verbally and emotionally abusive.
Because of my physical problems, I have been looking into assisted living communities. however. NONE of them want someone who has a mental disorder in addition to a physical one. It’s all one and not the other. Either you are mentally unwell or you are physically unwell and heaven help you if you are both.

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That is horrible, I’m sorry. :frowning:

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thank you…yes it really does stink.

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IDK, are you degenerating or just going through a rough patch? Are you functioning worse in every way or just certain things? The decision hinges on your own special, individual mental state. Also to consider is that doctors are not always right.
But is she right? Are you getting worse and worse?

Do you know @shutterbug on here? When he was hospitalized 20 or 30 years ago the doctors gave him a grim prognosis. He was told he would never work again, that he would never get married and have children, that he would never have a life. Well, he proved them wrong and has all those things, and more.

Personally, I had several hospitalizations in the early eighties. But I got out of one and 9 months later I got a job in 1983. I stayed out of the hospital until 1988. Then I relapsed (partially due to a crack addiction I suspect).

I went through my relapse for a year but then made a good comeback and got employed again, entered college, eventually got a car. I stayed out of the hospital from 1990-2015. Then a series of events put me back in a psyche ward at age 54. I had lost a lot. My mother had died which made me suicidal. I also lost my housing, had to quit college and take 2 months off of work.

This is what I really want to say. After the psyche ward I moved into a temporary group home. I had been living in society for 20 years, living on my own, taking care of myself, taking care of business. Then I was back where I started, almost literally. When I was in this temporary group home, it was 2015 and it was in the same city, and just three blocks from the group home I was in 1980!

But in 2015 I thought my life was over. I felt I couldn’t function. I thought I would be put in some back ward in some hospital for the rest of my life. I could not see any way I could survive anymore.

Well, the epilouge is that I was wrong. I had fallen for sure. I had to move back into a board & care home with 25-30 people. I had to share a tiny room with a veteran who had been homeless for 8 months.

But I got used to it. And about 14 months later I moved into where I am now. I share an apartment with one other guy. We are independant except for a counselor who visits us every three weeks. I’ve been back at my job since 2016. I have my car. So I just gave you my story to show how low you can go. Or how low you can feel, but still have things turn around for the better. Yeah, life looked pretty bad in 2015.

For your specific situation, have you considered a board & care home (group home)? It would probably be better than the state hospital if you find the right one. It might be a better alternative. Some of them are safe, clean, enviroments, with plenty of freedom and some structure.
I would want to avoid the hospital as much as you and if you have a case manager I would contact him/her to see all your viable options.

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That seems to be a matter of some debate

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hi Nick…thanks for your reply.
Since 2006 I have been on a downward slide. There were a few spans of time when i was able to function better but overall, i’m not the person i used to be. I am getting worse. it is possible that there is something else complicating the picture…like early onset dementia or Alzheimer. I have ZERO short term memory and this radically diminishes my level of functioning.

A group home would probably be best. I lived in one for years when i was young and hated it…but back then was in heavy denial about my illness and my limitations. Now I would be grateful for it, not hate it. sadly, the state I live in and especially the county I live in have almost no public services and benefits for people with MH issues. The state hospital I was looking at is in NJ (I live in PA) and requires a person to be an NJ resident for 12 mos. My dad lives in NJ but it is doubtful that he would let me live with him for that long.
This hospital has 12 cottages where people live indefinitely. It was my hope to get something like that…

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thanks for sharing this.
Years ago I was in a medical hospital for a physical illness and they did a CT scan of my brain. When I asked about the results, they only told me, “You have atrophy of the brain…nerve death”…Years later, same scenario only this time I was told that the brain cell death was worsening.
When i was in my 20’s I had an IQ above 150. And later in life I had psych testing again and they wouldn’t tell me what my new IQ was but they said there was “evidence of a prodigious intellect
that has been harmed by the mental illness”.
This is something I am aware of constantly. I struggle now to put sentences together and things that would have been easy for me years ago are hard, if not impossible. I know that i am still intelligent but in terms of practical function…way below where I should be. Again, I don’t know which is SZ and which is another disease overtaking me. Whatever it is…it isn’t good.

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I hate to sound like an ■■■■■■■ here…

But do you exercise? I find exercise crucial to my rehab.

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I’m sorry, but this nurse is absolutely ■■■■■■■■. She doesn’t know anything about sz. Sz gets better with age and there are some very successful people with sz worldwide. 20 million people have sz and if everyone with sz had degenerative brains we would end up with 20 million people in psych wards.

Your nurse has had her training basis in stigma. YOU build the life you want, not her. We can do great things!

We might need support along the way but that doesn’t mean we are worthless or anything like that. ■■■■ everyone who thinks we are worthless. You can do great things, even if that seems minor.

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I do what I can. I either walk with forearm crutches or I am in a power wheelchair. I have severe pain in almost every joint…so I’m not about to do jumping jacks or a plank…basically I do range of motion stuff in order to prevent more loss of function. Many of my joints are fused, most notably my ankles and many of the vertebrae in my spine are also fused and will no longer move. I am a great believer in exercise and healthy food…however it is not always possible.

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you are right Laetitia. We can often build our own prisons. And a lot of the successes I’ve had in my life came as a direct result of someone telling me “it is impossible.” I love proving them wrong! The truth is that I’m really struggling to function both mentally and physically. I’ve somehow got to get away from my husband but my disability check is barely enough to pay cheap rent and that’s all. My husband will not willingly support me. I’m mostly bed and recliner-ridden. Not like i could go and get a job. I can no longer drive. So there are a lot of "can’t"s … I do try to keep an “I can” mindset…but my body and mind are not cooperating.

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It’s a difficult situation but I think if I were in your position I would be looking for a roommate. Someone to share the cost of living since your disability isn’t enough. That is, if you can’t find some shared housing like 77nick77 mentioned. Maybe someone in a similar situation who needs financial assistance as well. What about alimony from your husband? Is this possible? Of course, this all would depend on whether or not you can keep your positive symptoms at bay and keep it together. And I guess only you know that.

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yeah. I agree that a roommate would be something to look into, although, in my past supportive apartments, I had great trouble with some of my roommates because I got really paranoid about them and it was MISERY to share a place with someone whom you think has it in for you.

Lately, my positive symptoms have been out of hand. i don’t think i could swing living independently…although it kills me to say that. Maybe it is a temporary downswing. Maybe given some time, things in my head will improve but right now …

I’ve been scouting around the Assisted Living facilities near me. I would really like it if I could find one that would take me. I am almost too physically disabled for them at accept me and SZ is the kiss of death. NO facility wants a liability like that.

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Have you talked to your doctor about maybe switching medications or upping doses to get your positives under control? It sounds like you’ve been around the block a few times so you’ve probably tried it all but just in case…

Getting those positive symptoms and paranoia under control would go along way to making your situation more solvable I would think.

I use to have really bad positive symptoms but my drugs have completely wiped them out for me.

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Anyway, good luck…I’ve got to get some sleep.

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have a good night/morning… Thanks for the conversation

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