@shutterbug had some success with this book as well
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Thanks. I will surely read it. This is better than going to a therapist.
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Massive success. It is the foundation my recovery is built on.
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Ok, Iām a bit late to the replies, Iāve experienced the whole spectrum of dissociation. Some literally donāt feel like nothing, you have to literally reassociate to realize you were dissociated. I am not even sure why they put them all in the same category, either way they do. Iāve had lots of depersonalization and derealization but I wouldnāt even put them in the same bucket as what I experienced yesterday, there are some parallels though I suppose. The one I was referring to, which is what I call dissociating and not experiencing depersonalization or derealization, is like you arenāt the only one responding emotionally to the situation so only parts of your body experience those emotions, they donāt feel systemic at least in the case of yesterday, you are perfectly fine because your ego, your sense of self, isnāt experiencing those emotions mentally but at the same time you are not fine at all because you are experiencing them physically which affects your mind like somebody getting anxious in your body at a situation you are not anxious about would, in this case, but it doesnāt have to be anxiety for me, then you can even dissociate from the dissociated parts experiencing the emotion and not notice anything happening or at the very least making the emotions become something you āseeā instead of feel as they become progressively distant but it also feels very unnatural because as a matter of fact you are depersonalizing to deal with dissociation.
Can you explain that in simpler terms?
Do you mean you experience detached emotions?
Like for example in some military sere training your taught to dissociate from pain and to go to a different place mentally.
So your saying you automatically dissociate from your emotion/feeling but still experience the physical component?
Going to a different place is the latter process I explained, itās how you dissociate further. Since the emotion isnāt systemic you can move your consciousness elsewhere, removing it from the area, from pain it works because generally speaking they arenāt causing pain through your whole nervous system, but generally for pain thatās not the first approach to use, the first approach is to mimic the signal you are expecting to receive from your peripheral nervous system and send it down the system. Having dissociated emotions is different from dissociating from your emotions although both can exist at once, you understood the effect perfectly but the source isnāt an emotion you would have that you isolate and separate from, itās an emotion you wouldnāt have which you get because some subconscious part of you sees a pattern that involves that emotion and replicates it, but itās not something to do with you and your experience, it could be that youāve heard somebody talking about anxiety that had a similar eye color to a person you are seeing, or somebody got anxious in a movie and something in the setting you are in reminds that part of you of that scene, itās not something you can generally piece together, sh*t just goes wrong and you get anxiety in your body, generally in a subset of it like only in your left side chest and left arm for example, for no darned reason worth its salt, and maybe then you rationalize one logical reason after the fact grafting it onto it as an explanation, and sometimes you even add the response to your own personality to feel like everything happening is normal to protect your peace of mind and convince yourself that the emotion had something to do with you due to your limited understanding and your fear of what you may be settling on as a reason which could be all sorts of dreadful debilitating delusions or because quite simply it can create unnecessary self doubt. Does that explain it better?
Anyways yes it does mean I experience detached emotions. Sometimes they even have a personality thatās a carbon copy of my own(although that doesnāt mean we always express the same aspects at the same time) so that I can for example show it love and understanding and feel loved and understood detachedly, but in the case of yesterday there was no personality that I could notice, I could literally move the anxiety down as though it were a slider without any backlash nor resistance but it kept popping back up because I couldnāt identify much less address or remove the trigger, especially not while focusing on what was being said, which already required continuously dragging the anxiety slider down and preventing myself from dissociating from the whole situation due to stress(aka stop listening).
Thats even more confusing. Lol but i get the gist of it.
Dissociation
Deatached emotion
Emotions are detached
I found out the issue, my brain was no longer putting sounds into a 3D environment and considering them as individual sources fixed and deprived of a spatial component, like dialogues in a book. Basically the more the information about the environment was relevant and not the projection of said information(like when watching a movie, where what matters isnāt that the sound is from the front, left or what have you but where it comes from within the scene). Basically I was so locked in that mode of thinking that the 3D sound environment lost its feature and when my subconscious had to interact with lots of 3D information from sounds instead of creating the environment it caused aberrations to pop up like anxiety and so on because it was too burdensome to process normal everyday sounds through that pathway.
It seems like you are overthinking it.
Maybe, but it doesnāt mean that Iām wrong about my own experience. I May have worded It poorly, but itās being life changing in a sense, way beyond unraveling my anxiety and giving it a semblance of meaning where there was none before. I fixed a derealization on hearing I hadnāt realized I had. Aka the world hadnāt sounded right for years and I hadnāt noticed and now that Iām noticing is changing back, itās good progress I think, and itās doing something to the negatives, I donāt know what, but something.
P.S. Plus I think the space for the 3D information was ground for the proliferation of voices since it was unused.
P.P.S. This is happening after starting to recover from a stuffed ear thatās been stuffed for years, since my second psychotic break more or less. Just to give some context, maybe we simply need two properly working ears to properly perceive sounds as happening in a 3D environment, I donāt know and honestly I donāt intend to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially when it happens on my birthday.
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