I still believe, that the most of my suffering, comes from my thinking… My brain also feels asleep tbh, even though that i think all the time… Dont get me wrong, i think, but i have the impression, that i think always in the low, that my thinking is not ‘‘open’’ or just elevated… That i dont think practically or reasonably or in touch with the reality… But sometimes, i even cant stop thinking, but its all a s*** i guess, cause i suffer from this kind of thinking… I also have lots of worried and paranoid thoughts too, negative too i guess…
But did the meds returned you to some saner thinking? Or even if they made your more positive?
Tbh, the zyprexa doesnt fix my thinking still, its a pity… I remain a big thinker even lol, but something is not fine in my head, nope… Maybe i am just a worried person who still sees all in black, but i wish the ap could give even some ‘‘kick’’…
I think all antipsychotics do, is help you sleep. You’re not supposed to be as paranoid, if you sleep enough.
Well, i still remain paranoid and very anxious… Maybe it doesnt work, cause i was sick since a teenager while i started the treatments in my 30s… i developed all kind of pathologies, due to the loneliness and the isolation and the inactivity…
So the aps dont really fix the thinking? 
…
They did for me but just by 40%. I want to do things but all I ended up doing is staying in bed all day everyday
Only if your thinking is screwed up from lack of sleep and too many stimulants.
It’s fixed the majority of my thinking. I still get suspicious and intrusive thoughts but they don’t dictate my life.
In fact, i find, that i have thinking deficits no matter, that i think all the time, because of too much despair and darkness for years… I stopped noticing many things surrounding me, lots of info… I can watch to a movie and not getting the whole picture if you see… Maybe its deficits, because of the negatives… The other thing is that my doc said, that i cant think, cause i have mostly paranoid thoughts…
I think most people have a health problem. You’re going to have issues if you don’t improve your health.
Nice to hear @Qwerty 
Maybe i need time on my ap still to get to that point? One pdoc was telling me, that maybe i’ll need years but my friends saw their paranoia disappear from the meds in months, maybe its a lie…
I don’t really know the exact functions of the receptors that are affected by antipsychotics, so I could be wrong.
In fact, often, i feel my brain is a mess… I think a lot though, but i never ‘‘trust’’ my thinking, so its painful… Why i dont have a normal thinking lol??? I also have a bunch of physical sensations inside my ead, which is way too much… I dont find, that the aps fix the thinking… Or maybe my mind is not at peace… But the point is to be at peace with some thinking i find… When i talk, i still have the impression, that i say crazy things, while everyone says, that i say normal things …
Does someone else doesnt trust his thinking like this? I lack this spark of life in my mind… I dont know what i lack precisely in my head tbh… 
I wish i could have trusted my thinking, but so that its ok too… I dont know at all what is to feel ok on the side of the thoughts, yeah…
My AP helped make my positive symptoms manageable enough that therapy and CBT could fix my thinking. Meds only provide a foundation to build on, it’s always been our job to finish the building.
Yeah, but i have sensations in my head @velociraptor… I sometimes feel my brain a mess and it affects even my body… Why i should have these sensations??? And i start to hate that i am always seeing myself as lower than the others… I dont trust my thinking gosh!!! I feel as i say crazy things, while probably my illness is exactly to feel way too much crazy…
Will my zyprexa at least stop my sensations in my head one day? Idk what is to feel ok in your head and this is sad …
Lots of us do. I had and continue to have some tactile hallucinations of nanobots in my body centering on the pacemaker in my left shoulder (my delusions tell me it’s an alien implant). CBT and therapy changed this into something I can just ignore like ignoring a bad itch.
Ok, thank you, i’ll try to fight 
Here, the meds are a limited help to me, maybe cause i was havning negatives, idk…
But do you think, that i can fastly recover on my intellectual deficits sooner, than i think it? I dont mind if i ost some neuros until i feel fine in my head and with my thinking… Or its hard to get a saner thinking? As i told you, i still feel as i say crazy things, which is not true from what everyone tells me… Maybe i turned closed …
My ap doesn’t fix my thinking per se. Abilify helps me with paranoia, anger, suspicion, overthinking and intrusive thoughts. My mind doesn’t move at a ridiculous rate to connect dots, and I don’t see lights or hear so many signals (behavioural correction stuff).
I still believe some things, which when talking about, I’m told isn’t possible, highly unlikely, doesn’t work like that etc. I have trouble distinguishing which was delusion, which really happened.
They’re not 100% a cure exactly, but they definitely help me function day to day.
I have less intrusive thoughts and images now that i am on an ap. More in control of my emotions as well.
I now wonder if i am mostly intellectually disabled?.. Yeah… to feel these sensations in my head instead of a normal thinking… plus i had problems since kid…
Do you know what brought me to ask myself this? The episode 7, season 4 of the crown… They have intellectual disabled people in the queens family, some mental illness who was hidden…
I really am saying, that my sensations in my head are strange… Maybe i’ll be forever rejected from partners and family, cause i am intellectually deficient? gosh…
maybe my family hides this on both sides of my parents… idk, this plays on my paranoia now In my hospital file its written, that my intellect and memory are ‘‘oppressed’’ by the illness…
my ill friends dont fight the paranoia to be intellectually deficient or ugly or some things like that… me, i fight this here all alone 
i am a strange sz i find… yeah, i’ll be forever alone probably…
Yeah, i am alone with my intellectual deficiency… i am the only one, who thinks like this about myself… and this makes me scared, yeah…