Maybe i have a bit of maniac side wow… But sometimes i feel that i lose something in the process of healing. whatever, i want to heal already cause at the end, i am quite unhappy, very, very unhappy. Or maybe, i just lose my bad character. One of my pdocs said that i am not schizophrenic but a borderline with a bad character. idk if he was right for the diagnosis but i have a bit of this bad side in me yes. and its perfide cause it makes me feel strong while i am just ill in fact.
I hope my brain will start working lol and stop my dumb behavior towards others and myself too 
.
I feel the same way. It is probably the brain’s resistance to change and the bad neural connections that are being destroyed during the recovery process. I wouldn’t worry too much 
1 Like
When you lose something that really means that now means you’re less weighed down and able to carry new things. This is actually a wonderful opportunity, something to look forward to.
2 Likes
thanks Andrey. No, i dont worry but sometimes i really grief… I should lack reason in those moments. Cause the only thing that i lose probably is my dumbness and my closeness to the world i guess. I change definitely yeap . Now i feel shaky again and bad but in the day i feel the difference in my head. Still dont know if its the meds or my efforts but i suspect both.
1 Like
That is very good news. Your efforts are beginning to pay off. I hope you will improve more and more and more… 
Shoot the arrow of your dreams high up in the sky 
… reach for the stars 
yes, there is definitely a change . But in the evenings my energy goes low. I guess i lost the habit of an active life. I just hope ill arrange this faster and not within years 
.
I loose my self when using antipsychotics…
me i have sometimes a strong resistance to change… I guess, with all the illusions or delusions in my head i still dont realize that i just can be happier. That’s why i need meds i find…