As a kid I went through several stressful experiences, but I would say I never experienced frank trauma as some people would describe it.
Its well past midnight and I’m watching youtube videos about mental illness and thinking, did many of us just have shitty childhood experiences which broke us or caused us to eventually break?
It has me thinking, maybe the DSM ought to consider the environment to be a predisposing factor for severe mental illness more than it is already does.
This isn’t a therapy session, so you don’t have to go into details about what you went through if you don’t want to. And I apologize if this is a triggering topic for anyone, if it is then flag this thread and take it down.
I went through a lot of stuff growing up. I went through more stuff in the first 20 years of my life then most people have in 10 lifetimes. My past combined with heavy drug use led to schizophrenia. Some of the stuff that happened to me I’ve never told anyone about. To top it all off I lived in a house full of sociopaths. It was a very hostile environment. I used drugs as an escape. My drug use made it difficult to defend myself from the psychological abuse and manipulation. It all manifested inside me and in retrospect it felt as though my own mind turned against me.
Alls I know is growing up I met people from some seriously focked up lives who grew up to be seriously decent people. I also knew some people from great lives who were absolute aholes.
I don’t think one causes the other and why I voted the way I did.
For the record. I had a great, loved, stimulated existence growing up and I turned out sz. It was on my mothers family side as I learned much later!
So that tells me…you can’t beat bad genetics…but you certainly can beat a bad upbringing!
Also, this is pretty insensitive. You said you had a nice childhood. Don’t think you know anything about how difficult it is to beat a bad upbringing. You don’t. And it’s not easy. Most people can’t do it, and those who do almost never beat it completely.
For the record, yes, I had a bad childhood. I was neglected emotionally and socially. There was an element of emotional abuse as well.
I worded this thread a bit funny, I have to stress, please try not to write anything here that would upset other people or trigger them! That means not going into details about things which might be upsetting or bring back bad memories.
I did not vote because I dont know what caused my sz but I can certainly say that when I became manic I always went back to those memories where I was sexually abused. I was sexually abused once but harrased many times when I was a kid… my own uncle solicited me to sleep with his wife … my aunt… all these things left me traumatized.
I had a good upbringing no doubt in that but was abused by the society I lived in.
I dont know why the source of creation is sitting silently and watching all this. I dont like to call for god for help but all I am wonderingabout is what is my source of creation. Why is there so much turmoil in the world. Arent we all responsible for the turmoil in some way?
I was neglected, but only as a baby, so I obviously don’t remember. But apparently my therapist says that even babies remember trauma, they just store the memory differently. Can’t remember what she said entirely but it was interesting.
That was it. Other then extra rebellious teenage years. And by then I was already struggling with mental illness for some time.
The first three years are formative of your brains development. Neglect during the first three years is usually a lot more serious than later neglect (but you can still end up okay if it stops early).
I don’t remember the sequence of events too clearly but I was badly beaten up as a toddler. My family dropped me off at this woman who was a baby sitter, and she left me alone with her children who were around my age. They beat the snot out of me, usually the brother holding me while the girl punched me in the stomach. It’s not nice to know how it feels getting punched in the stomach. Pretty painful, I guess they landed those punches on the solar plexus. It was only a girl doing the punching so it could’ve been worse but was still painful at the time.
Also, at the same place, I was left inside an abandoned car in their backyard and had to find my own way out. I hated that place with a passion, needless to say and begged my family not to go, although I wasn’t able to explain why being just two or three years old.
Trauma or not, I think I would’ve developed sz anyway. Trauma make things harder and more complicated. But according to this tome on mental illnesses I read recently, symptoms caused by environmental causes are more likely to be cured completely when those causes are removed because symptoms caused by genetics are less likely to be controlled by outside forces.
I was terribly abused and neglected. People don’t seem to understand how much a bad upbringing warps your views on the world.
My self esteem is non existant it’s hard for me to even view myself as a human sometimes.
It’s hard for me to set boundaries. It’s hard for me to trust anyone. And God it’s hard not to look back on the past and blame myself for it.
I hate this notion that people who have suffered are 100% responsible for if they are able to pick up all the pieces and “get better”. I hate how its only considered “strong” if you act like you’ve moved on and “gotten over it”.
Sometimes it takes all of your strength just to survive. Sometimes it takes all you have just to wake up the next day.
I go through life feeling disgusting. Like I’m a freak and a defect. Because that’s what I was treated like. It’s so hard to get out of that mindset.
It’s a huge part of who I am. My abuse shaped me and my alters into who we are. It’s ingrained in us. It is not all we are but it is a part of us.
@rogueone just think of everything you thank your parents/teachers/etc. for, for who you are today. Whether it be words of advice they gave you, lessons they taught you or even fond memories you have. It shapes a part of you
Childhood abuse works the same way but in the worst way imaginable. It shaped me. Luckily for me other things shaped me as well.
Sorry for ranting I just have a lot of feelings today.
I had a traumatic childhood. Had to edit this post because I realized my details may be a trigger. But it was bad.
In my case, I can’t determine whether or not genetics or environment had more of an impact on my sza. I have two sisters- one also has sza and the other does not. So who is to say?
I didn’t vote for either because I believe it’s both, plus other factors. I happen to have a few of the suspected components: I was born 2 months early, spent my first month in an incubator at the hospital, went home to an over-stressed environment, my mom and Dad both have mental illness in their families (my mom had serious issues of her own that affected her ability to parent), I was neglected and abused and molested… So, I believe that,even under the best of circumstances, I would have been “different”, and that my experiences as a child damaged me further.
My home was just a bed and breakfast, I don’t know whether I should be grateful for the little care I did receive ie my mom giving me meals and clothing me.
Should I be grateful for the little I did receive, or be angry because my mom cared very little for me?
i experienced trauma as a child. sexual abuse by my father’s friend, physical and mental abuse by my brother. i was bullied at home and at school. my parents and brother are all mentally ill but refuse to take meds for so my childhood was pretty frantic.
my dad is a serial cheater. on the day i was born my dad was cheating on my mother with her best friend. my dad and his friend would go to brothels and leave my brother and i in the car.
i also think my mom was in love with the very friend of my dad’s that hurt me. my dad had caught them kissing and he then physically assaulted my mom right in front of me.
my illness came about because of trauma and genetics so i was kind of screwed from the get go
No I was not abused as a child at all. Very happy childhood although my mom was very religious and I was scared when she spoke of demons. I don’t know if it’s genetic as I am only sz case in my family. On my mom’s side was depression though.