Hi, I will say everything i remember in the hope that someone could let me know whethher it sounds like I lost time because I was hit over the head etc? or if i eventually had a fugue state?
I was in hospital for schizophrenia long term. I remember choosing a name which was given to me by other patients, (one guy moved his walking stick to give me my surname.)
A bit later on i had an inner command to ‘go! go now’ and i left the hospital and found my way to a town 2 hours away, hitchhiking and finding myself telling the people i was hitching a lift from, saying my name (not my real name) and establishing that i was travelling to return to my Fine Art degree.
this story elaborated that i was staying in a caravan park with my two kids and man, who had been shouting so i wandered off leaving my two sons with him. The only reason i am asking is this the start of a fugue is because I then lost 12 hours… (12pm - 12am or later(ish) i had been smoking hash with a guy who said he came from up north somewhere and had travelled to this town, apparently with a lot of hash to smoke with a strange homeless woman
Hash is pretty mild stuff, but he could have slipped me something quite easily. After spending the night in the car smoking we went to a beach and i went in the sea in my clothes and dried them off on the roof of the car while i wore some of his clothes. At that point i think he drove to drop me back into the town… (late morning/ 1 pm ish?) but i don’t remember a thing until being woken up by a woman shaking me on the shoulder, in the dark, middle of the night, from sleeping in the middle of the pavement… asking me if i was alright, where I had no recollection of getting to the pavement in the dark 12 hours later than my last remaining memory (which was quite unclear…
I don’t have a specific jumping off point where i began the episode of forgetting) no memory of how i got there. I realise that fugue is supposed to happen with total amnesia so i respect that this might be a case of my being assaulted or etc by the man i spent the night in his car with.
While assuming a new identity i was aware of about 3 facts about the life i was away from - i knew my home town, and that i was away from hospital and that my mum lived in that town as well.
There was no physical damage that i am aware of other than sore feet from being without shoes for 2 - 3 days. This was quite a long time ago - but these are all the facts.i would rather imagine i was in a fugue state than having been drugged and taken advantage of.
How does a person in the state of assuming a new identity in a strangers car go from a lift back at midday to waking up on the pavement in the dark? at the point where i came round - a woman shook me awake I had no memory how i got there and i was determined that i get back to the hospital (my home for 9 months) and took a taxi with no money so the police were called and they drove me back to the hospital.
Does this sound like a case of fugue - where i eventually lost a chunk of time? or a possible drugging and being abandoned in a town where I found myself sleeping on the pavement?
Having thought about it, it sounds more likely I was drugged raped and abandoned- it’s more likely
I thought it was fugue for the last ten years finding anything else very hard to Accept or even talk about