Beyond the psychotic outbreak itself. For example, in my case, the same day I had a psychotic outbreak, I got a throat infection that baffled the doctor due to the location of the inflammation.
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I got admitted to a psych hospital and moved back from New York to Belgium.
Edit: I also got urine loss because I was so stressed with the permanent voices.
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No. I think I held it in and tried calming myself and acting normal and hoping to recover. I think that’s when I started believing in Simulation Theory and believing I wasn’t real and life wasn’t real and that God existed. I also realized I was stupid and a failure for getting poor grades. It felt like I had memory loss or couldn’t learn. I could only relate to dementia at the time from my own experiences. I wasn’t aware of schizophrenia except in the media like “Beautiful Mind” and stuff.
I didn’t even hallucinate or hear voices. I just imagined my dog “Copper” and maybe started experiencing paranoia, anxiety, and had a sore throat or something like a cold and congestion or something.
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It was 12 years or 13 years ago when I first got sick from exercising and stuff. I think it was substance induced psychosis and stuff. It went away and came back. I eventually dropped out of college. I was ashamed, embarassed, and felt like a failure. It did seem to get worse over time since then. My memory sucks can’t remember ■■■■ anymore lol.
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Yea the whole world was basically watching me while i was having a spiritual breakthrough. They werent watching me but were watching what i was watching, which was something prompted by very low vibrations.
The world showed me grace and the fact that we all have moved on is a testiment to that
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Like what if all your insecurities from childhood got cured and lost due to extreme exposure? Everything you were ever scared of that kept you indoors, stopped you from going to the dance with girls, made you choke when people pressured you. All your flaws as a human are exposed and its okay, the fact that its okay is the key
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We’re not suppose to talk about religion, but I had an interesting thing happen to me during my second psychotic break. I was laying i bed tripping out trying to fall asleep when I got sleep paralysis. It felt like something was holding me down and I couldnt move. I kept saying “i want to look left” cause my head was held looking right. All the sudden my head without intention or effort quickly looked left. A moment later it was over. Then I heard a voice that spoke inside my head but I could also hear it like it was a sound. I ended up calling it real telepathy. The voice kinda androgynous said “I was created when you were born, live life to the fullest”. I felt calm after that and got up out of bed sat down in my living room to smoke and kinda meditate or chill on what happened.
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Yea, jumped out of a third story window. Already told that story. Had major surgery and was hospitalized for 6 weeks. But aside from that, right before I became a blunt-force trauma enthusiast, I developed dark, purple blisters on a few of my fingers. 6 weeks in the hospital and no doctor had any idea what caused them or what they were. Eventually, they went away.
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I had like 15 trash bags in my apartment because I was afraid to leave the house. House got infested with gnats and I didn’t make the connection they were coming from my garbage.
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The voices showed up and told me I was going to be the next President. I was really happy… then I got home and they said I couldn’t be President cos of all the bad things I had done. Then they listed a bunch of things that were not true. So I admitted to everything I had ever done wrong (i dont recommended this). Now the voices harass me on the stuff I’ve actually done wrong. First two years were really bad, I couldnt function. Then my dog looked at me and said “You distract them and ill make a plan” and hopped under the bed. It got better since. The last 3 years have been better than the first 2 years of hearing nonstop voices.
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