Your first psychotic break

I have been dx for one and a half years. I had totally sudden onset. I had no delusions, no voices, no nothing. I was living in the same world as everyone else. I was seriously stressed and sleeping in a shelter but no symptoms of psychosis, delusions etc. Then one day I lost control of myself. I became totally convinced I was being controlled and monitored in a brain study. I went dancing down the street (for hours), hopped my old apartment fence and hit the hot tub with my clothes on, was talking to my ā€˜audienceā€™ out loud and left my car in the middle of the road. A few other shenanigans too. I ended up in the hospital and on meds. I have had 3 episodes, total, and none since March 2016. Episodes would be where I ā€˜detachā€™ and lose control of myself because ā€˜theyā€™ are controlling me. While I am still delusional, I have been in remission from psychotic episodes since March 2016, so letā€™s hope for the best. I am curious as to other peopleā€™s ā€˜warm upā€™ and first episode.

hey,

Insidious onsetā€¦it crept up and totally strangled my life.

Went psychotic in a workplace of 300 people but had enough sense to get out of there. Australia has some good social security and some good mental health programs. I hit them both pretty hard.

Take the pills. They actually form new neural linksā€¦or seem to and do much better than placebo.

Get a good shrink and stick to them. I have no truck for psychiatrists for the mentally illā€¦theyā€™ll do more damage than goodā€¦itā€™s all about the pills.

A good psychiatrist will know your personality and make choices on thatā€¦but be involved in your own treatment.

Helps.

Rogueone.

I feel they do this for me also. Or at least try to form neural links that should have been there to start with. Heh.

hey,

Itā€™s the dopamine receptors. I have an Uncle with Parkinsonsā€¦that really sucks balls. No cure. You deteriorate slowly focking horrible way to goā€¦

I take dopamine agonistsā€¦they help majorly and still take ssriā€™s by the boatloadā€¦itā€™s all brain chemistry and a good shrink will read your mood and help you out!

Rogueone.

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My sz came on very gradually over some years. But I think what defined my first break was the day I got my senior year (matric) results in the newspaper. My mom came to show me the paper in the morning and cheered as I got 4 Aā€™s. She was so excited but I just remember feeling nothing. That day I remember I went and scraped my knuckles raw on the brick wall outside till they bled. That was the first time in many occasions that I hurt myself and started my breakdown. It was a downhill from there.

My ā€œwarm upā€ was like my entire childhood. I was never normal. Was delusional since I was like 5, hallucinated for as long as I can remember and struggled greatly with paranoia for as long as I can remember. It came to a sort of climax my junior year of highschool where everything became extreme and I just detached from reality.

Was up terrified every night because I was being raped and basically tortured by a demon/evil spirit and tormented by other evil entities. Believed I was the next messiah and the devil wanted to kidnap me and take me to hell to impregnate me w the antichrist. Was constantly reading messages from God and the devil in the clouds, also believed the clouds were agents of the devil that would kidnap me if I was alone outside. If I was alone in general I believed Iā€™d be kidnapped. I coated my door and windows in salt and oil to try to keep the evil away, crossed myself with holy water every night, said the rosary every night, slept with the Bible and repeated the same verses over and over again for protection, had to shower w my back to the wall bc the demon would stand in there with me and hurt me if I sang, was seeing walls melting and colorful lights floating around or floors swirling, occasionally heard things like thousands of rats scurrying through the walls, or a giant snake slithering.

Involved a friend and told her that now this heavenly council was going to try to kill her because she knew about me and I was supposed to be a secret because the heavenly council was working with the devil to try to form a peace treaty between heaven and hell so they wanted me to be kidnapped. I was talking to God, Jesus, all kinds of entities. I was just absolutely insane. I really wish at the time I would have been hospitalized or placed on meds because the whole experience went on for like a year and was so traumatizing I developed PTSD from it. My parents were oblivious and the only one that knew some of what was happening was my friend, who ended up not my friend anymore. (Also involved her in this whole thing of trying to ā€œpurge all of the evil spiritsā€ from my house, exhausting and long endeavor)

Since then things have calmed down quite a bit. Iā€™ve had a few more major episodes and multiple minor ones since then but none were anywhere near as bad as the first. I still have symptoms on a regular basis even when not in an episode but they are mild and manageable w the coping skills Iā€™ve learned.

Oh goodness, my first break was bad for me. First I started doing ā€œautomatic writingā€ with my hand and then it turned into voices. They were telling me I was Hecate. Then it turned into me being a medium and I was telepathically linked to a guy somewhere in Tamba Bay. I ended up adding some guy on instagram. That same day one of the voices revealed to me that it was all in my head and I ended up breaking down and telling my husband. I went to a mental hospital and the first night was horrible. I had so many voices and I thought I had multiple personality disorder. After that I got on some meds and it has been quiet until recently. I am now relapsing :frowning:

My first breakā€¦I remember it clearly lasting for a month. (The same month of final exams) I was manic too so I had insomniac nights. Couldnā€™t sleep for days. Was feeling euphoric but I also heard voices. The greatest feeling of all was surprisingly not frightening, but confusing. I was confused as to why I was feeling this way. But I digress. Never have I experienced something like that before.

Lasted about 10 months. Thought absolutely everyone was an undercover cop. Was awful.

Although I had many the worst was when I sunk in deep, it was not the first, but the first that really stood out and lead to treatment. I lived for 2 years in the dark, threw out everything electrical for fear of cameraā€™s, then threw out most of what I owned, would see stuff just thrown out by people and sit there trying to figure out why they placed it in the position it was in and what message they were sending, lights would send messages to me on what to throw out and do, if there were lots of lights on at a house it meant they were angry with me.

Cameraā€™s were everywhere, they could see everything I did, there was no safe spot.

Mine happened very gradually. I had 2 or 3 smaller ā€œmini episodesā€ before my first real break. That was in 2008. I was convinced that demons were trying to steal my soul and that I had to offer my friend as sacrifice and they would leave me alone if I did that. So it was pretty badā€¦

Iā€™ve had some psychotic symptoms since I was a teenager, but my first actual psychotic break came when I was 23 (March 2003). I was also severely manic, had been awake and racing for five days by the time I got to the hospital. I was convinced that I had attacked a couple classmates at school, that President Bush had delivered a message to me through police, that Iā€™d had some classmates and a couple of my professors over to my apt the night before, among other delusions. I was hearing music that wasnā€™t there, and eventually I called 911 regarding the classmate who I was convinced was sitting in his car in the parking lot across the street with a rifle in his lap, just waiting for me to come into view. I believed that he was actually a kid I had known in elementary/middle school, and that he had changed his name and had been stalking me through high school, undergrad and, at that point, med school. Yeah, the police only had to talk to me for maybe 30 seconds before they realized what was really going on, so they took me to a hospital crisis center. My second break was 7 months later, and was more messed up. My third and most recent break was in 2008 and was the worst of the three.

I forget if this was a dream or a psychotic break, but I recall hallucinating monsters when I was around 4 years old and I started screaming and crying while my parents were trying to calm me down. But if that wasnā€™t the case, I definitely started having psychotic symptoms and the occasional break around that age.

Mine was in 1991 at university. I was totally obsessed with a girl I knew. I got sicker over many months and was close to a suicide, and spent about 2 months in hospital and had to miss a couple semesters. Had some psychosis again in 1996 then no episode to speak of until just about 5 months ago. Did well enough most of my life but patchy on employment, most of past 20 years spent teaching overseas. Not even sure how ill I am now, but motivation to get work is really low.

dohā€¦psychologists!" read psychologists!
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