Did anybody else get ruined with your goals, because of sz, or any other mental illness?
Yeah…I graduated top of my high school class and had a scholarship to John’s Hopkins ready for the next Fall, but instead I got a “scholarship” for 5 months that year to Florida State Hospital. I was aiming for medical school eventually but have spent the last 30 years in and out of hospitals. I managed to get a master’s degree but have such a hard time coping that I haven’t done anything with it. Ha ha, in 9th grade I was voted most likely to succeed! Now I’m on disability.
I graduated University whilst in psychosis…
My original plan was to study until I reached my academic height
This did not happen
Now it has been nearly 9 years since I studied, and I fear now it’s too late to go back to it now
I think this is the main thing I wish that I could have done, but it was never to be
I actually didnt have goals. I was always a flunky…
Yes, my goals got ruined. Now I don’t do anything.
My goals are still there sometimes.
But I think you mean if me pursuing those goals ruined anybody because I was reckless and driven by insanity?
I don’t like to think about it.
I was going to be a rock and roll star. I never passed the ninth grade in high school. After I got sick I got my high school equivalence degree, went to college for about a year’s worth in a few years, and moved onto the university music school department but had a big relapse of my illness and failed out. It could have been a fun experience but I never had the money or car needed anyhow. I became an intellectual in the following years despite my inability to comprehend well. I never cared about not becoming anything but my Alter did. I was content as a banquet server. I never cared I lost my mojo as a teenager. I never cared I could have dated hundreds of women by virtue of my good looks alone. But deep inside a part of me was mad and tormented me for thirty years. He let it turn him into the devil. The torment is over, it doesn’t go on forever. So did I really not care? Can the mind really be divided? I am no longer able to work and live in a one room apartment, have no friends or family. I’m hoping to find someone to play guitar and mandolin with. Is that corny? I could teach what I know and learn things among other things. I could progress faster. I don’t know how to find anyone. Announce it in a twelve step meeting or ask at the guitar store. There are no independent local newspapers! It’s a common theme to feel bad about not succeeding in life with sz and sza.
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