Blew it and got sz

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I was good at my studies till 10th grade.

but after that i went to college and there i blew my studies.

i took focus off of them and i contracted schizophrenia.

if only my studies part was spoiled then also it would have been on but there should have been no sz.

bcoz of my sz i lost all my talent and even worse found it difficult to understand and think with my brain. basically my IQ got hammered.

now i dont know whether i pulled over the sz on me by myself or i naturally contracted it.

after that my life has never been the same again.

i managed to work in the US as a computer coder for a few years but after that no productive work from me.

life plays mean games.

i think its karma, since i blew my studies i think i got sz in return but what to do i was fed up of studies.

i just want to travel to some foreign country settle down have a decent job get married produce kids and lead a simple but satisfying life.

will i?

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My grades on college were terrible. I am not sure if another college would accept me for master’s with those grades. I just couldn’t focus

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Its not our fault to have sz. Don’t blame yourself, you’ll get worse.

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after 10th even my grades dipped a lot

hey @Om_Sadasiva r u an indian or someone else who has just chosen and indian god name for the username

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I am Hindu / Buddhist. I love Siva. I am not Indian. I am Greek

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hey thanks for clearing that up for me.

sometimes we r not sure

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oh ok.

great.

151515151

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Dont Panic. Schizophrenia is not a death sentance. It may feel like that at first - but as long as your willing to learn coping skills and take advice from other people with the condition you will be fine.

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You don’t contract or catch schizophrenia. It just develops. It’s not contagious.

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@Naarai yeah thanks for the info.

i know there is hope but right now it is stopping me from achieving my goals

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oh ok @anon4362788 thanks for clarifying that for me

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Stress and lack of sleep is basically the cause, so I’d stay away from stress, and find a way to get good sleep

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yes that makes sense

but when i got it i had neither

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You probably got sz, because your life was too stressful. You may have created some of that stress, by not doing well enough in school. But programmers don’t really have to take exams, that require a certain GPA, do they? You can always study now.

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thanx for the suggestion but

i m 46 now.

recently i got a job as a coder but i rejected it bcoz of covid

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Believe me. 46 is very young.

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i know yes 46 is also young,

lots of years ahead hopefully

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I was born with a brain that functions and reacts to things a little differently than the “norm”. I guess you were too, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of or blame yourself for. You can learn coping techniques, keep your stress level as low as possible, eat well and sleep well. I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as well.
It’s a struggle. I’ve struggled and and had to let go of goals and dreams, etc., but I have a decent life. You can find a balance and still live a good life.

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yes i think u r right.

thx for the encouraging and hopeful words.

a decent life is more than enough, u r right about it

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