How do you know you are ill? How long did it take for you to realize?
I’m so stuck right now. I stopped my clozapine for two weeks and things have been worse than ever. They titrated me up again and I went on leave for the weekend and stopped again. Within two days I was back to square one. Is that usual?
How long when you stopped meds did you relapse?
Everyone’s trying to tell me I’m ill but I just don’t believe I am. Or am I? Help me please I’m honestly over it and seriously considering suicide.
Alot. I have the voices of two male police in my head saying constantly the police are going to shot me in the head. Also there is demonic cackling outside my head. I see the hands as black because the police removed my hands and put an evil persons hands there. I feel very angry and homicidal. There’s intrusive thoughts that command me to do stuff or I’ll die which are put in by the police. I can hear in my head what others around me are thinking like telepathic powers. I believe I am being crucified like Jesus but I am more important than Jesus because I know more e.g. about the aerials on the police cars that transmit electromagnetic waves to my electrical brain signature. That’s a fraction of what’s going on
With me anger is usually my undoing when I’m off my med’s. I usually go through an anger binge, and then I do or say something stupid, and then I find myself on the psych ward. There isn’t any set amount of time before this anger binge. It could be two days, two months, or eight months. Usually I keep it together pretty well until the anger undoes me.
Sounds like you are very ill to me. clearly you are suffering and hearing things that make you feel negative. I would try to stick to the clozapine just agree to it, hopefully you don’t have to go on Haldol too then. try not to come off too much that might be detrimental and hinders recovery time…
I express very little anger in my social interaction, but I have tons of anger I don’t really know what to do with. I think almost all of us have some trauma in their history.
yea I defo think so. I mean it is affecting your wellbeing negatively that is the sign that you are not well. homicidal thoughts is very seriously negative emotions.
don’t worry though, you can get better I hope with the clozapine and coping with any stress that you may have in your life,
you may want to go into therapy.
Why do you think that you are not unwell when you are hearing voices in your head that make you feel negative, that is not healthy, do they sound like literal real people?
If you are still able to talk coherently here,maybe ask the doctor for something that’s not clozapine and see how you do on it for 4-6 weeks. Clozapine is the last line of antipsychotic with a bunch of side effects
that is a good point I suppose. ofcourse it does feel real.
scientific experiments show that psychosis causes damage in the brain suggesting that it is an illness
I choose to believe that it is not real. it is easier to believe this once you come out of the illness that is the thing. I just don’t want it to be real aswell so that is another reason I choose to believe that there aren’t spirits or real people talking to me in my head.
I personally think it is maybe just my subconscious braking through into my conscious mind in all kinds of symbolic metaphorical ways etc.
Makes sense. My beliefs are stronger than anything right now. It’s really scaring me. I’ve never been this bad. It’s been going on for 5 years May just gone. I started off obsessed with the police and went in and out of hospital. They thought it was a personality disorder. The thing is is that I never told them about what was going on because I never thought it was abnormal. I was surveillancing the police and dressing up like them too. Really weird. Then it just excessively developed into now and I honestly don’t know what to do. My mind hurts so much
Well it may be this partially for me anyways. I did also get some nonsense talk
besides that,
what is stopping you from going on an antipsychotic? would it not be nice for those voices to stop? and even when they stop, if they stop, it is important to stay on the antipsychotic for quite a while, idk how long exactly, it might even be for life.
even if lets suppose they are real, would it not be nice to attempt to get rid of them? having a quiet mind is the best thing imo…
They have tried me on most and they haven’t been effective. I was on clozapine for a year and they believe it improved me. I had a seizure a year ago and I think it was the clozapine. When I started taking it again my jaw started to jerk and it scared me. I don’t want to have another seizure.
