I remember once I was doing security work at this boot factory and at the beginning of my shift my pants tore.
We wore those flimsy dress pants and they tore good. I mean it exposed my butt and underwear all the way down to about mid leg.
I had to work like an 8 hour shift like that. I was working in a shack alone so it couldve been worse, but I had to expose myself every time a truck drove up or I did a round of the building.
It was bad. I suppose technically I could’ve called the main security contractor office and asked for a replacement worker or a pair of emergency pants or something, but it would have taken them hours to get out there, so I just finished my shift as best I could and suffered through, trying to hold my pants together every time I had to leave the shack.
Can you remember any embarrassing or uncomfortable situations you have been in in the past?
Well, this was embarrassing but funny. One day I was doing drugs in my car with this hooker I was friends with. We had fooled around a little but we ran out of drugs and money and drove to an ATM downtown. I got out to go to the ATM and there were a few people strolling around. Well, I had forgotten to zip up and all of a sudden the girl shrieked, “Your dicks hanging out!”. I looked down and sure enough she was right: I was out flopping in the wind. I stuffed it inside, withdrew the money and we went and got more drugs. She was totally embarrassed but I thought it was funny. Who woulda thought a hooker would get embarrassed over something like that?
I have some other funny hooker stories but that was the funniest.
One time I visited Oregon and I got so drunk I crapped my pants while I was walking to the boarding house I was temporarily staying at after buying some beer at a corner store.
For a long time I though someone had cursed me in Oregon.
Truth being alcohol will do a number to anyone’s digestive system.
I woke up totally naked in a police cell once after drinking too much in a neighbouring town. All I remember was drinking shots in this bar then blanked out. They didn’t even give me a blanket and when the police gave me my clothes back my social worker who picked me up said I smelled off cat piss. I had to go to court for drunk and disorderly and got a fine.
I once went into a lady’s bathroom thinking i was in a mens bathroom. I was sitting on the hopper when a lady came in and sat down in the next stall. I thought huh… she in the mens room! Well 2 minutes later another women came in and sat down in the other stall, i thought oh ■■■■ im in the lady’s room. Then one women was trying to open my door. So i cleaned up and opened the door and the whole bathroom was filled with women. I was alittle embarrassed to say the least.
I was probably about 10 years old and I was at a specialist doctor getting some tests done. I was being asked all these questions by the doc, in front of his colleagues and my mom.
At one point, he asked “School?” Relieved to not have a medical question, I enthusiastically answered “Good!”
Fast forward about 30 seconds and I was still trying to figure out what school had to do with anything and why they had looked at me weird when I answered with delight. I played the question back in my mind and realized he asked about “stool” (as in poop), not “school”…
