Symptoms of depersonalization/derealization disorder are usually episodic and wax and wane in intensity. Episodes may last for only hours or days or for weeks, months, or sometimes years .
(Google)
Nihilistic delusions, also known as délires de négation, are specific psychopathological entities characterized by the delusional belief of being dead, decomposed or annihilated, having lost one’s own internal organs or even not existing entirely as a human being. (Google)
I have it for years.
Google says it may last for years
I feel nothing exists.
Maybe it’s a delusion
I have these realizations
that make sense only to me.
It’s a subtle understanding
Nihilistic delusions occur primarily in schizophrenic reactions and depressive states, particularly in acute depression. (Google)
You might also hear it called walking corpse syndrome, Cotard’s syndrome, or nihilistic delusion.
Early I had a nihilistic idea like a delusion that everything was fake abd meaningless, signified nothing. Everything society believed in was nothing but playing make believe and only fools were pretenders in the stupid rituals
I’m not sure what to say @Om_Sadasiva. Probably a better question for your doctor than for me. All I can tell you is that you don’t sound well a lot of the time. 
I don’t know.
Really don’t know.
I had my haldol shot
a few days ago
Is it gone now?
Kinda hard to tell im not really involved in social life events
The joy of being treatment-resistant. The meds make things less, but they don’t make them gone.
Exactly.
Even being on clozapine and 2 other APs,
still something remains
I was on 400mg of clozapine for years with absolutely not an iota of response
And now? Off clozapine?
I have some supposed response with abilify
I can’t tell what my state is
I have found that the medication does seem to keep psychosis like blithering psychosis at bay, but it just doesn’t stop the voices from happening 
Milder symptoms with meds
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