I start to wonder where the borderline is between regular depression and psychotic depression.
I dont have bizar thoughts. Nothing like previously. But im having thoughts like “I failed at all these things, im a horrible person, i never did anything positive for anyone ever, what if i go to hell, maybe it is better for everyone if i die so they arent touched by my bad influences, i can never be a good person”. A lot of the mistakes i see are (imho) realistic.
I start to have some positive thoughts too again and reach out to people. So i hope it is clearing up. And i wont do anything stupid.
But…I was wondering…when is it still depression, and when is it delusion? The line seems to be a bit blurry.
Good question. I’m wondering the same thing. Would be interested to hear what others have to say about it.
I guess with depression you still have awareness your negative beliefs aren’t real but with psychotic depression you have distorted beliefs that you think are real but aren’t
Thanks you three. I think awareness might be different, yes. And because im sensitive to psychosis there might also be some risk of sliding into psychosis, or even just some unusual thoughts.
I really wish there was some harsh line though. Also to decide on how to treat it, whether to up the AP, etc.
Im thinking back to my first depression, which was kind of an existential depression too. I wasnt psychotic at the time, it was pure depression. I think i had mostly similar symptoms, but my thinking was somewhat less odd. Shared reality felt a bit less shaky. I will also ask the pdoc, will share if he has any useful thoughts.
I think you’re probably a very good person. I mostly feel guilty, if I’ve affected others adversely. I don’t think I have, but my persecutors might have. I think it’s depression if your mood is affecting your ability to function. It’s delusion if the reason for your depression is irrational.
I dont think im a very good person…I too have guilt over affecting others negatively. I do think my reasons for depression are rational. My current way of seeing it might be too negative/one-sided though.
I’m on a higher dosage of AD than AP. It helps with the negative thoughts.
With PD, I tend to have more negative thoughts and paranoid delusions that is related to my PTSD. I also hallucinate on a rare basis with a remission in between. You have to talk to your pdoc to see if your PD is more depression-based, or more psychosis-based. But usually, I don’t have many strange beliefs like people with sz do (they mostly have reasoning of some sort behind them, like I am afraid of people because I was abused or has to do with your low self-esteem).
Thanks… That makes sense. I think im somewhere inbetween everything. I mostly have negative thoughts related to abuse, mistakes, ptsd, self-esteem, fear of people because of past experience, etc too.
I have rarer periods of genuinely strange beliefs. But that isnt the case now.
And also, I’m not a pdoc so I can’t diagnose anyone. I was originally misdiagnosed as schizophrenia, then my pdoc re-examined me and diagnosed me as psychotic depression. For me, I don’t have very many strange beliefs, and mostly they are stemming from my PTSD.
I hope the AD helps you. It’s helping me a lot since I doubled my dose. What is your diagnosis?
And i wont do anything stupid.
I will also ask the pdoc, will share if he has any useful thoughts.