So ive been talking to this really nice girl for a month now. Its been great we hangout a couple times a week, our conversations our lively, we both make each other laugh and we have similar interests in anime, nerding out and books. Shes a great human being that i really enjoy having in my life but i am romantically attracted to her. We had a talk the other day where she said she was demisexual. She explained to me and i looked it up that it means she must have a strong emotional bond or friendship before she has feelings for me romantically. I like her enough where i want to keep going with this and see if it turns into something more but am kinda confused by it all. But im asking what r any of ur personal experiences with demisexuality or anyone uve known that is demisexual. Its a new term that ive never heard before meeting her. But ive done research so i don’t need links to other websites telling me a definition. Just personal experiences please.

Doesn’t seem like it’s an orientation more like a philosophy. I think I’ve turned demisexual over the years. Friends first, lovers later.


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Hmm I’m this way too…my current gf we were instant friends and just enjoyed each others company for a while no one rushed anything…its been wonderful…just stick with it.m

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I think I understand the difference between me and demisexual

I see a girl, I think she’s hot. I wanna be friends first, lovers later.

A demisexual sees a girl, wants to be friends first, THEN he sees she’s hot. But doesn’t see she’s hot until they’ve already gained an emotional attraction.


You wanted to be friends first, I’m the same way. But you knew she was hot. Demisexual is not recognizing attraction until you’re emotionally involved. Seems like a tough and rare thing.

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Ah yea I can’t read blocks of text well anymore so I didn’t get the whole concept…sorry…

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demisexual to me is where the person doesn’t see the person in a sexual or attractive way. After time together and bonding then there becomes a strong sexual attraction. I’ve always been that way. The problem becomes when the other is only wanting friendship and that’s all the see it as because the demisexual has made no moves or intent for anything more until it was too late.

So if you like her then you have to wait and know as your relationship gets stronger emotionally, it will turn into a sexual/physical relationship.

Never realized there was a term for it but makes sense with me as any friend over time that I have been emotionally bonded with regardless of gender etc, I become sexually attracted to from the bond we built.

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I saw a guy and thought he was ugly then he started to sing…Beautiful voice. Then I thought ," Wow! That guy is soooo good looking!"

I can’t become physically attracted to people until I get to know them. When I met my fiancé, I knew he was cool and interesting, but I honestly had no sexual thoughts about him until like a month into dating him. It’s always been like that for me. I didn’t know there was a word for it. I just thought I have very discriminating tastes.

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Ive had quiet few boyfriends that to me were friends but the sexual part was rather horrid (bad).

My best friend I had was also my boyfriend but the sex we had was so bad.
Not sure if we even laughed about it.
Dont think so.
We love n loved each other but the sex was bad and although I thought him to be beautiful we still did not connect sexually and have that passion ,etc

I dont agree with youzz for me that is but we are all diferent.

I do not want one night stands (i want to marry) but if I am immediately connecting with some one sexually and on top of that we maybe can laugh together, feel comfortable together, relax , hang out etc then yeay.

I also believe one can be “feeling” some one that one has not met in person (the flesh) but ones spirits can interact n hang out so there for one can love some one that one has not met in person.I think.
You can be much closer to that being than all the people you met i te flesh or in person…

I dont want to be friends first as that may be a waste of time.
I think it should go pretty quick for me.
But I do want us to feel immediately good with each other as such in spirit n then later for that to come together with our people and bodies etc.

Sex is very important to me.
I love it and all it can be.
It can be amazing.
Playful, fun, extatic, liberating, thrilling, loving, affectionate and so much more.
I want to feel such a connection .

I dont want to be in a relation ship 8 months with a friend and have bad sex and then keep doing that as have in past…
Not that dont love em.
I actually have thought that there energy was not in there bodies and that was female in there body and one didnt like me etc n thats why …

I dont mind kissing and being affectionate on first date if feels right.
One can hold n touch hands for hours if in that vibe or just hang out.

I will try stop myself from sex first date .
Unless it was something incredibly that happened so it just happened and it was ok …

Im so sorry to my self about last time had sex. was bad. n we were not compatable.
But thats the usual story with me but I have high hopes that things are gonna change.
I apolagise to my self for letting men be in my body that were not compatible with me or good to n for me either.
I can n have changed. Alcohol was bad for me in such big amounts.

I understand others who want to be demi sexual but i dont think its for me so to say.

last time my body had sex is what i ment…

My spirits had beautiful sex. But that was not my body. :slight_smile:

Man… I seriously don’t want to please a woman unless I’m in love with her… I consider myself demi-sexual… It’s not an orientation though… you’re right on that. It has no hold on what someone is attracted too. Sexually aroused by loving and being loved… on top of what ever actual sexual orientation exists in the person.

hey man… if you enjoy hanging out with her then just leave it at that. Learn to be patient and romantic at the same time… but just treat her like a friend and perhaps flirt a bit if she responds well to that stuff… it’s a total mystery how she is really feeling during flirtation and all that… but dude at least you’ve got a chick to hang with.

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Good for youz to have found something that feels right for you. :slight_smile:

one of My x boyfriends and best friend I had and i did not have good sex in person but I shall not begin to attempt to describe here how i have love for him.

When I said its a waste of time I did not mean that in way it may of sounded…

I did mean it though.

It was not a waste to be with him.
Was it a waste for us to be with who ever was in my body…
I have had some pretty awful beings in side of me. she was in my body and I was in his body most or lot of time.

I can love also my friends immediately and spiritually for those friends i cant hang out with in person…
So we may not need so much time…
But I have friends i have said dont know me and friends who do know me. not disapointing to me.
is as is.

I dont actually have friends. lol

not in person.

but in spirit i do. :heart_eyes:

Now I have met some one in spirit.
I believe we can laugh together, hang out together, talk with each other , have awesome n great sex n love etc

But one can be single n taken n not single at same time because…if all birds , ones nature n all of or most of or lot of ?who one is is in relationship but ones bodies have not come together or met… bäää If some one asks me i have say im single. but depends who asks and how they ask.

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