So before I was diagnosed I was a lot more easy going. Could hang out with any of my friends. But nowadays I realize some people kinda try and mess with you verbally/mentally. Completely unwarranted, just say disrespectful things to bring you down.
I’ve come to realize that I can’t hang out with certain friends of mine anymore because of this, they just dont want to play nice. Last night a friend of mine kept dissing me over and over for no real reason, it actually surprised me and I’m still thinking about it today, but I think I’m going to avoid meeting this friend from now on. Nothing personal but just for my own mental well being.
What do you think of this and does anyone have a similar experience? I’ve had to do this with 2 of my friends in the past, and it looks like this friend from yesterday will be a 3rd.
I’ve definitely had to cut some people out of my life.
Yeah… that’s a hard call.. you have to do what you need to do for you. It’s hard loosing friends… especially when there are so few friends in our lives.
I’d say maybe talk to him on the phone a bit… see if he’s just having a rough patch in life himself… it might be he’s struggling with something and doesn’t know how to say it.
Or maybe let him know he’s being negative. If he’s still messing with you after that… then he knows and keeps going… then it’s time to avoid.
But the guy might now even know his “jokes” are bugging you.
Glad to hear I’m not the only one that has gone through this.
I’m pretty sure its intentional. I have a tough time communicating that I don’t want to deal with this and that he’s really hurting my feelings though. For now I’ll just avoid him and see what happens if I bump into him sometime down the line.
If he’s intentionally being abusive, he’s not really a friend.
One possibility though is that he doesn’t realize it’s bothering you so much. The majority of the people I used to work with were ex military or ex construction workers. The majority of us took part in what is known as “ribbing”, which is good natured teasing. Actually, the people we didn’t like, we had the tendency to leave alone.
I’d confront him about it and let him know that it’s bothering you. If he’s really your friend, he’ll change his behavior and stop teasing you.
friends are supposed to be nice, my friends are nice to me, they try and help me,
sometimes people get frustrated and resort to name calling if they are bored or whatever, its not right but maybe in some strange way they were just trying to get a reaction.
conversation is a very complicated business and people enjoy it, it can be even more complicated and awkward if someone is not talking as much as they like or stimulating them in some way (not sexual).
naming calling is not good though, maybe you should ask your friend why he has been calling you names and stuff before you ditch him, i think the fact that he wants to spend time with you is something, i mean he must be there for a reason, must like you in some way idk.
in online chat i have seen people being blatantly disrespectful, rude and nasty to others and they are under this sort of delusion that it might help the person in some way, it doesnt really help much, ok i guess sometimes you can be a bit sharp with someone but i still think we should be trying to go about it in a better way.
you are always going to get someone saying something you dont likem even on this forum i see things posted about God and stuff that i dont like, God bashing is something that i get upset about but i am getting use to it now, it is so common, people are just full of hate some times you know.
anyway i hope you can talk to your friends bout this and work something out, it would be a shame if you lost all of your friends bc of this, take care.
Yes. Poisonous relationships basically. my last friend group most of them were awful. They would criticize me every single day. Everything about me. I was always anxious to walk into school in the morning because I didn’t know what they would say about my outfit or hair.
I didn’t really realize how much harm they did until I got away from them and got good and caring friends again. I suggest stepping back and looking elsewhere.
I hear you! It’s not good natured or fun, the way he says it is not light hearted at all just bluntly implying that I don’t get any women and the women I have had, are not good looking. Not ribbing, just judgemental statements like that. Those were the comments that were most hurtful to me, and I’m just thinking, I have freaking schizophrenia, I’m doing the best with what I got here!
@ Daydreamer
It’s not namecalling, I would describe it as implications about my weaknesses and shortcomings stated in a mean spirited way. The friends I do have, that I talk to and see on a semi regular basis never do this, or if they do its because I accidentally dissed them and they’re just balancing out the conversation.
I’m fine with this, I make social faux pas every now and then. But this other friend was just constantly mean for no reason at all, and he never used to be like this? maybe he changed.
@ Anna
I’m glad to hear that you can relate. I know exactly what its like to be criticized like that! Thats very true, I was shocked at how much better life was, eliminating the negative people out of my life.
darkman213 said, “I can’t hang out with certain friends of mine anymore because of this.”
I stumbled into Co-Dependents Anonymous for a complete different reason 25 years ago. And wound up pretty much right where you seem to be. I can tolerate the misguided opinions of others, but I close the door on the willfully abusive stuff. Who needs approval from persecutors?