I told my last girlfriend about three weeks in. Dumped all of my skeletons out of my closet. Our 23rd wedding anniversary is this July.
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Did entire dumping happen in one day?
the moment you realize your glad you ran out of dalle2 credits
at this stage, I’d be classed as a born-again virgin
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I had couch dances that’s about it
I’m married and have been for 13 years.
I didn’t tell my husband (then boyfriend) about my diagnosis until we moved in together.
He knew I had odd tendencies,
But really I was pretty controlled during that time so it wasn’t a problem.
After I had my baby,
Things kind of fell apart for me.
My husband has supported me through good times and bad.
We’re a good couple and though I can’t work, I keep our house in good order.
Anyway, back to dating.
You just have to get out there and stay out there.
Accept that rejection is part of it.
Don’t take it personally and keep moving forward.
If you continue to look, you’ll find someone.
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I have not been on a date for over 10 years now
Wouldn’t know where to begin
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It happened within 5 minutes in one day.
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I havent dated in a long time. I think all the weight gain from clozapine aswell as schizophrenia is making it hard to find someone to date.
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In my condition you actually got to leave the house to date and that’s something I struggle with being out in public.
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I don’t think so. I was married for 16 years and my experience wasn’t so good. So there are some things I wouldn’t like to live again. I don’t know if I would date someone or if I would have sex with someone, but I don’t think I would have a formal relationship again.
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If I’m dating someone and they seem like a good person, I tell them about my condition ASAP. It just isn’t something I can hide for long in that circumstance.
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I have never dated in my life. I am 43 this month.
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I had a brief try recently. I quit. The PTSD and attachment issues are a huge barrier. E.g. I do not know how to do all the being together people want from a conventional relationship. Men tend to like me when we have a few dates, and then conclude I am “intimidatingly independent”. If they get a chance, and I didn’t run off in sheer panic because of some innocent trigger by then. I also do the opposite and ignore huge red flags. Etc etc.
I think psychosis, should not be as much of a problem, if it is under control.
As for telling.
- Ironically, I tell people I have PTSD before meeting. Little stigma.
- I quickly start to describe my concrete issues, bit by bit. E.g. sometimes I get so scared, that I get frightened of weird things, that are not frightening at all in reality.
- I wait before using the creepy psychosis-word. I do not want prejudice.
- I have no rules, except: do not lie and intuite what is fitting.
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I hope you find someones @raccon ! Love is a wonderful thing. But, i usually tell them when I talk to them for a couple a days or the second date. I try to be upfront since some people will be a little hesitant, but in my experience i seen a lot of moldable ignorance, they are willing to learn about it and don’t see it as a defect!
I hope you can find love! Take care of yourself!
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Slowly ease them in is a good idea. I laugh a lot too myself so I would probably start off with that. People always laugh for no reason. I always wonder if i look weird, creepy, crazy when i do that.
@Waffles Thanks waffles! I never experienced this love everyone talks about.
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I wouldn’t mind the laughing. Personally. Kind and honest matters a lot more. Also, you seem good-looking. Don’t be hopeless.
Everyone has problems. If you have a prostrate problem, you do not say on a first date: “hi, I am Raccon, and I have a prostrate problem.” I never use the word psychosis. I just answer basic questions in a positive-honest way at first. No idea if it is good, but this is what I do:
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“What’s your job?”
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“I do not work at the moment. I have PTSD. It is difficult to handle the stress of my old job. I need a more simple and slow life, so I volunteer. I really enjoy that.”
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“How’s your contact with family?”
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“I have loving friends. But not much contact with family, sadly. My family isn’t close. I’d rather tell you more, when we know each other better.”
After a while, I tend to freak out about something (inside, I hide it). E.g. his rushing things. And say: ey, I’m going to sit you down. I like you a lot. But…this works for me, and this doesn’t, and this is a part of the reason, and I will tell you more bit by bit.
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Yeah, thank you! This just reassured me and has given me tips to better my interactions with possible partners.
So I went on a date tonight. Lol I ummm downloaded a dating app after receiving some responses to this post and the date was fantastic. I was literally laughing every time my date had something to say but I told them I’m really nervous and they said "yeah, its okay. But are you laughing at me or with me? " I laughed to that and changed the subject. They was really happy. I didn’t have to explain my mental condition or my current position in life. They would go on tangents and would be satisfied with the attention I was giving them.
I know, Marian, that you would disclose your job status but I was so nervous to do that. I felt like that bothered me the most when I was on the date, especially after hearing how they was working and going to school: being very ambitious. BUT my tension was released when they was very understanding and supportive about mental health and the struggles an individual faces when dealing with mental illnesses (lol I was steering the conversation towards hardships in life to see their perspective, so I could see if they were suitable).
This date had a positive impact on my anxiety and I hope my interactions become more honest and relaxed.
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I told him before we met but that didn’t always work for me. I mentioned it beforehand because I wanted to guard my feelings if he broke up with me after me telling him…
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That is great. I am so happy you had a nice date, and all went well, and they were kind. I hope he will be a nice partner to you. Or at least it relaxes you a bit. What was he like? Did you like him?
Do take my dating advice with a grain of salt. I’m still single. And that has reasons. 
And I dated men and women, but obviously not gay men, so I do not know the social rules of that “game”.
I think everyone should find their own way of doing this. It seems as though you did great. I think it was a good move to see how they respond to the “hardships in life” topic.
I don’t think you are obliged to share everything and anything, like your job status. Actively answering questions with bullsh*t stories is obviously not wise. That ruins trust later. But not bringing up the topic is fine. As is diplomatic wording. And timing.
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