Darn the going mute

Lounge
1

Visited /met my boyfriends parents and friends and went mute.
Darn!

Not first time.

I’ve written on this forum before about my social

Difficultit sz

What can one do?

Others here I know have also written they have same difficulties

Today I’m asked to go to bbq with few more of his friends and I don’t think I can do it.
I think I will go mute again n body tenses.

I also have a feeling like people don’t want us together.

I feel one woman’s hate n jealousy in my body so could not kiss etc when feeling her cause she was in my body so wasn’t really me.

He is best boyfriend I ever had and I love him and wanna marry him n be beyond death n long term with him but there’s problems

I don’t think his friends are overly keen on me but what’s new yo.
When I was toddler I adored people n they adored me n then I was raped n held down by woman while man ■■■■■■ me with hate n I was too young n did not approve of him cause he had not love for me etc n was married.

Then things happened n I became a disabled weirdo .

Iwas isolating and only meeting my horse n I would leave her if I move here and keep paying for her but let her retire.

There’s bushfires here n im terrified of huge fires that take homes n kill etc n my boyfriend is volunteer fireman .the weather is so hot and I do t have people I know of such as drs etc but

He has been amazing to me.
So supportive , kind, considerate,sweet and when that woman n others like her isn’t in me body we can kiss for hours and my heart overflows I adore him but when I’m not feing like myself sometimes.

I think I have to say no to bbq tonight.

I don’t want to risk going mute again which always seems to happen n tenseness n a mans energy in me too who’s angry n a touch psychology I think .

Darn.

F***

I don’t want is to break up cause of this jealous hating woman but who ever she is I should perhaps be understanding how awful she may feel.

I love bbqs but the socialising is torment.

What can one do?

I know this question has been asked before and that others have same/similar problems.

In spirit im really pretty outgoing n talkative but people don’t like me in spirit either.
I don’t fit in this forum or with any people as such.

I thought youzzz could be my internet friends but fr bit excluded and out…for that.

Anyway, what do you do withsuch socialising situations?

2

If it’s any consolation, a few people here, including myself have the problem of drying up conversation wise after a while. Maybe practice it more?

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3

I find one to one conversations a lot easier, does that work for you too?

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4

If you go, and you end up going mute, that’s not the end of the world. You can just focus on being a good listener. Neurotypical love when someone is quiet, because they get a chance to talk about themselves more. Maybe you can practice a few phrases or questions beforehand. When I was nervous in social situations, I read a book on social interaction. It said that if you memorize a few questions beforehand, and just ask those, people will remember the conversation fondly. Simple things like, “Where did you grow up?” Or “Do you have any siblings?” Maybe you can memorize a joke, too. That is really all it takes to make small talk with somebody.

And if you get there, and you feel like you just can’t handle it, you can ask your boyfriend to take you back home. Maybe you guys can work out a secret signal, like touching your ear. Then, if you can’t speak, you can still let him know you need to leave.

I don’t know if any of this will help, but I hope it does.

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5

For ne the muteness is constant, sometimes it gets worse but it’s always there.

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6

Thank you for your replies.:gift_heart:

I ended up going and loved the people but was mute anyway but was not tense so was more Okelidikeli then.

I even laughed n thought woman was funny n charming n great.

But I’m used to isolating n the meeting people has been difficult cause it’s been daily n im not used to such and sometimes when mute i tense up n not a little but hysterically n then can also feel touch psychotic ,fragile,delicate ,overwhelmed etc

My boyfriend has been amazing n said I can squeeze his hand if I need leave.
I did not squeeze that night but yesterday I wasn’t doing well when his mates came over n I was mute but feeling sad n overwhelmed n confused etc

I went to toilet n cried n tried praying not that I’m fit any religion though n then bf sent me to bed despite that he was the one who had not slept all night.

About two days ago a furious jealous one was in my body not wanting me to be with my bf and wanting to seperate us etc n it felt awful n I was not in my own body n we stopped kissing etc after that n then I got cold sore n was worried he might want break up with me but he hugged me n said he loves me.:tada:

Sometimes in social settings no words come out not questions either.

Strange cause I thought I was social outgoing creature but that may only be in spirit.

Good wishes to us with our meeting with people n talking etc

:gift_heart:

7

One to one conversation can still make me mute but may be less confusing n overwhelming etc than with lots of people.