I’ve been repeatedly traumatized by all of my immediate family members, but things are okay now. Although I’m maintaining a good relationship with them, I still get really scared by them.
As a result, I feel like I’m suffocating in my own home and I feel scared.
And no, I can’t live independently- it’s just not possible right now.
It’s so weird, I like my family but I really am scared of them at the same time.
Honestly I feel like I’m sensitive and stupid, but I feel scared all the time and I hate it.
Gosh i used to feel like a burden constantly too. To everyone.
Nothing makes any sense with SZ, the contradiction you are experiencing. Yeah can you use psychiatrist time to unpack these feelings, or if mom can afford this, she wouldn’t want you to experience this and would likely want to do anything to help you.
Oh gosh, not sure where you are, anyway to find therapists on a sliding scale.
Still not sure that is affordable.
But honestly, its worth a conversation with mom if possible. I understand if that conversation never happens and you just cope with the situation you are in on your own.
Cause this is not your fault. They complaints sounds insensitive. Family and friends who know really need to be educated on this illness.
I’ll try to initiate the convo but I’m mostly terrified right now. I know that I’m just scared on my own, and it’s just me developing paranoid delusions because of PTSD.
My doctor recommended a trauma centre that I could go to for PTSD but it charges so much per hour and I’m mortified. I know that my mother wouldn’t want to spend that much. She constantly talks about money and I’m honestly scared that I’ll affect my family’s finances.