Curtains aren't getting opened today

Things are still bad. The car is still there. Just gonna burn incense with my Moroccan lamps on. Beck on the hifi.

What car are you referring to? I hope things are okay.

I’m glad you opened up your curtains. :slight_smile:

Hey bunny. I have a problem with cars with tinted windows and one has been parked outside my house for days. Am trying to keep my ■■■■ together but is tough. Thanks for asking though. J

Sorry @Minnii haven’t been able to open the curtains. Went outside early on to check it but it is still the same. I even noted the position of its wheel nuts so I can tell if it moves overnight then comes back.

My basic thought is they have cameras set up and they leave for an hour a day to go to upload the images for analysis.

Ps I am looking at the ■■■■ I am typing and even to me it looks crazy!

You know this is a delusion… Call the crisis line and schedule an appointment with your pdoc. I’m starting to get worried about you.


Thanks for your concern @Minnii - you are a good forum buddy.

I really don’t want to end up on the ward again. In Scotland there is a totally anonymous crisis line and they cannot trace you. (If I use the government lines they take your name and address etc)

Luckily I had the sense to see my family doctor yesterday and she liaised with the community mental health team and they can come out if necessary. She also gave me a little klonopin.

Just working on my distraction/relaxation techniques cos I am afraid if I start physically talking to a person all my pain will rush out like a dam bursting.

Don’t worry I completely understand. At the last place I lived I felt I was followed home, all the time. There was also a cab driver who used to park across the street and just sit there for hours. I would watch him with my binoculars, and see him writing on a clip-board of papers. I too covered my windows, every time his car pulled up. It helped ease my panic. I now live in a windowless basement, so my fear is mostly gone, unless I go where the windows are in the house or outside.
That is my experience. I wish I could help you, but all I can do is relate.
Do what you can to keep calm about it. Maybe talk to someone.
Stay safe. :mushroom:


They’ll hospitalize you if you’re a danger to yourself or others, not because you’re paranoid. You should really talk to your pdoc.

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Hey @Bunny your experiences are just like mine. I spend hours just looking out of my windows and see so much ■■■■ that seems to back up the ideas of surveillance I have. There is some crazy ■■■■ going on if you remain vigalent.

But saying that those feelings are mostly the illness talking and only noticing things that support your ideas. This I know but today it is simply too hard to open the curtains.

Thanks @Bunny is good to know others can experience things so similar to me. Ps I hope you are feeling better now and not in too much angst about people watching. Is hell on earth

Herein the uk it is hard to see your pdoc apart from scheduled appointments. First point of contact is with your CPN and they basically do all your care. Even if you do pressure them to make the doc aware of your situation the pdoc may suggest something at a weekly meeting with all the health staff.

As a patient getting to see your pdoc on the nhs is difficult.

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Well, I hope you can find a way to overcome this. You can always talk to me if you need to.
I am doing a bit better now, without windows in my main living space. Make me feel safe to be at home.

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Can you get in contact with someone than?

Will try and speak with the weekend team. If I know I am not going to have to go to the hospital I may be more open.

You probably just need an adjustment to your meds, clearly it’s not enough to stop the paranoia. I wouldn’t worry about being hospitalized.

And even if you were, it would be for your own good.

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I was experiencing similar worry but it turned out it was the police getting ready to raid the neighbor up the roads house…i know it doesnt help but dont worry about it its probably just broke down or out of gas or something.

The meds aren’t working well. What happens when you take a benzo? Does everything go back to normal?

The benzos kinda calm me a bit but I am not sure if I like the sensation. They don’t really take any of the suspicion away.

I just see this as a bit of a flair up. Will pass but is just very unpleasant in the mean time.

Just ask ourselves this question: “Is there anybody nowadays shoot video of someone and upload it to YouTube?”

I admit that there is housemate who does this for fun. But what about with someone who has no connection with us? What do they want?

I never open mine. They’re vertical blinds, so it’s a pain in the ass to alter them. Plus full-on sunlight burns my eyes and can trigger a migraine. So NOPE.