Curren hallucinations, Dec. 4

Unusual Beliefs
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Cats, usually. I keep hearing my cat, Sweetie crying or I see her walking with me. Usually I hallucinate about her when I feel guilty about not being a good dad. (I am, but I feel bad if I’m not with her 24/7). She is dying and she won’t hang out with me anymore. I feel sad.

Ghosts. I didn’t want this to happen in my new house but now I’m growing scared of my new room. I don’t know how to fix this persisting delusion/hallucination, it’s ruining my life.

Grieving about a show, Law + Order. It’s stupid but I always start grieving about characters I don’t even care about like they’re real, and then I think it actually happened. It’s also ruining my life, if I continue to watch it I will have another delusion. But I’m addicted to shows that trigger my schizo. My delusion of being a serial killer/cannibal always starts with grieving of fake characters. If you have any tips for breaking a delusion before it happens that’d be much appreciated.

Hearing yelling voices, distorted like disturbing screaming. Makes me think of my parents always yelling. I keep hearing a teenage female but she talks nonsense.

My speech is getting worse, I find myself speaking a made up language or talking to myself like I’m in a movie (I do this often).

Had a dream about my pets being tortured, then having a needle shoved in my eye, and running out of air and dying, being ejected into space where my body caved in and I exploded. I will have to think this is real for the next few days. The man who tortured my pets and hurt me with a needle will also haunt me, because I think he’s real and my pets were in pain.

Emotionless. I feel like crap. Getting more depressed, but it’s okay because I don’t have anything to help me for it so I will just deal with it. My doctors are cool but dammit, I want someone to help me for once. Put me on some meds, something!

I forgot to mention this before, but I have an obsession with peeling parts of my nails off. To the point you can see the fleshy part or I get ingrown toenails and I have to pull out the dead skin. I hate the pain, but I love it. It’s becoming worse though, and I want it to stop.

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There are several meds that are effective for the skin picking disorder, such as Prozac, Lexapro and Celexa. Ask your doctor, this can be serious and scarring.

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I pick skin too,nothing has helped me though

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I also hallucinate my cats often :slight_smile: It is my most common hallucination. To see a cat being naughty. One time I saw another cat inside my house (that turned out to be not real). For some reason, I was not concerned. Just asked Nick who his friend was…

I hope you can get on some meds soon. A lot of your issues sound serious.

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Thanks. I can’t trust my doctors because he’s been giving me some bad advice, and he doesn’t think I have schizo “because I’m too young”, and apparently it’s because I have severe depression? I do have depression, but I had psych symptoms since I was a child, before my depression developed when I was 12. I’ll try harder, but I don’t have much hope.

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I bet it is. My face is scarred, but I blame it on “teen acne”, because every teens has it. Even though I’m at the age where it should have gone, so I’m still picked on for it. But I literally cannot stop picking off my skin.

Usually I just pick off the dead skin on my feet. I take a needle and put it in sideways and just rip it off. It’s painful to walk, but it’s satisfying. Sometimes I rip too much, but it heals.

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My first doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia but I was 22. Then after 5 different doctors most of them bad I got diagnosed schizoaffective disorder

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That’s frustrating. I hope things are working well for you?

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I’m sorry. You’re really dealing with a lot. I hope you can get your meds straightened out soon.

In the meantime, CBT might help you with combating your delusions. You can get a CBT workbook and do it yourself, or you can see a therapist who will work with you. The idea behind CBT is to strengthen your mind and think critically to defeat your delusions. If you’re interested, I can link the workbook my brother uses.

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My doctor now is good he is only at the clinic once a week though

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Hell yeah, that sounds awesome! Didn’t even know that was a thing. Thanks friend

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Get the paperback, not the kindle. You need to be able to write in it.

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That’s rad, I’ll put it on my christmas list

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im sad to hear about ur problems supercoolITM, it was very hard for me before i met real friends in wich i could trust, discovering weed on college helped me a lot in life and spirituality(dont do it much, or it can trigger u paranoia and delusion, but it can help u a lot to)(pls dont remove coment, i know weed can cause problems, but in general it made me more good than bad), and also, surprisingly, with delusion, i have my secret theories of what i think they are, but is better not talk about it. u seen to be a nice kid, who can become different of most people with hatred in society, but we always can get better, like the gingerbread giant told to his brother in shrek 2 ‘’ BEEE GOOOD’’

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