For me, I’ve found it much harder to find that spark of creativity. Thinking abstractly doesn’t come easily, and it takes some mental stamina to convey into a poem or story.
I was an excellent nonfiction writer in college. I had a strong command of language according to my hipster professors. A lot of that came from my inner “voice” and the confidence that accompanied it. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that this inner monologue can be irrational at times and doesn’t possess the same level of confidence because of that.
I’ve embarked on a journey to write my own novel, which I am preparing for. I plan to start it January 1st. Part of this journey will be getting over the obstacle of lower self esteem in the way I project myself onto paper. I’m trying to reframe it as a new way of writing vs. a shadow of what my pieces once were. My “voice” comes with a softer and more caring tone because of the illness I’ve endured and the empathy that I have for others who are struggling now. I guess I’m gonna dig into that mindset.
The entire process has been frustrating, though. Things that I write now feel less impactful. I have a hard time looking at a paragraph and going “this rocks”. I don’t know how much of it comes from the illness vs the AP treatment, and I don’t think it’s helpful to think about.
How has you creativity been altered after treatment/illness? At all? A lot? How have you navigated this?
It was hard to spark anything, not just being creative. You just have to keep running at that wall until you bust through it. Keep trying and don’t give up until you get where you were before once again. I always laugh when people think that having SZ helps creatives. Total BS. It took my creativity away from me and I fought tooth and nail to get it back.
I post in the creativity section. I tried poetry for the first time on this forum just to exercise some type of creativity and originality. I like rap music so I try to make some type of rhyming rapping creative writings also. It’s good exercise For my creativity with words.
I used to be really creative and sensitive, now i am dull most of the time. I get excited occasionally with enough coffee and science. My love for science emerged out of schizophrenia and replaced my creativity
I’m nowhere near as creatively minded as I used to be, although I score high on a somewhat iffy(?) test of creativeness. My main problem has always been that of difficulty weaving loose strands of creativity into a well structured whole. That difficulty occurring because of my EF deficits.
Happens every so often. It’s usually the “Pied Piper” types who view us as being Shaman intended to lead others. They hang around for a bit and then move on when they realize the community is recovery oriented and no one healthy is buying what they’re selling.
I have written two novels (crime fiction) for a big, commercial publisher and some poetry for an avant-garde publisher. I published the books while I was taking AP’s - it didn’t seem to influence my creativity, but since my worsening of negative symptoms all my creativity is gone. I hope and struggle for it to come back.
I wish you luck in writing your novel, healthy self criticism is part of the game.
In the first 5 years or so it didn’t make much difference. But the last few years I find it very hard to get passionate about making music. I have no idea if that is just getting older, or having had some success working in a band that I don’t enjoy working alone as much. I can still come up with ideas but I just often don’t have the drive to work on them at length so most of my creative output doesn’t really amass to anything.
