Choked myself again

I got really upset last night and ended up trying to choke myself. I grab at my throat whenever i get those bad feelings. I know its not healthy but i cant seem to stop the self harm i feel so depressed a lot of the time and yet other times im perfectly fine.

It is sad to know you are depressed and cannot stop the self-harm. Have you reach out for help? What really troubles you, Serene?

Yea i have an appointmemt with a psychiatrist in june. Also i talk to my bf about it but theres not much he can really do. Im feeling hopeless. Since no matter what i do or how hard i work it just never works out for me. Im always freaking out and reacting badley or feeling anxiouse no matter how much i try to stay calm. I cant accomplish the things i want. I feel like im drowning cause i cant keep my head above the water any longer.

I learned from another thread that you’re perfectionist. Try to lower your expectation without compromise the standards-- Will it help? Being perfectionistic can increase anxiety level, really!

Yea i try to. I try to not think of things and i try to stay focused and believe i can. But my self confidence has vanished and no matter how loud i call i cant seem to reach it.