My bf and I talked through I problems with sex over the past week. But its left me feeling really badly about myself. Everything is just piling up. The stress, anxiety. I’ve pretty much stopped eating and have to force myself to drink water, lost 6 lbs this week alone. Walked 2 miles yesterday with my mom, the walk in the sunshine was nice but my mom is… another source of stress.
I feel raw, like I could bawl my eyes out at any minute and never stop. I’ve been hearing buzzing. But it could be dehydration, lack of food, not psychosis coming back. God, I’m so scared of that and going back to the hospital. If this continues on I could easily see that happening. Then I get worked up thinking about that and upset, its a never ending cycle.
I called the clinic and made an appt for Fri to see the social worker. I haven’t seen her in months. I’ve tried calling a couple times the past few weeks to make the appt but we’ve never connected and I gave up, so I guess I could see the warning signs of symptoms creeping up. I think I’m managing to keep up with my studies, we’ll see on tomorrows test. Been studying in 25minute increments then taking 5 minute breaks, its called the pomodoro method of studying. Hopefully i retain and can recall info for the test and then in the long-term for the final exam.