Childhood traumas, mental and physical scars

Although I was a happy child, I still had some traumatic experiences. I was physically abused and violated by my brother. I was cut with razor blades and knives. I still have scars to prove these terrible acts. I was punished if I said something ‘wrong’. In my childhood I learned just to smile when I was violated and I was taught to lie to teachers how I had got my wounds. For years I blocked these experiences from my thoughts, but memories are strong and alive. Just a little addition to my story.

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Sorry to hear that, that sounds terrible. :fearful:

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My childhood was rough…that affected my adulthood now i have Sz…!!!

I had a very unusual childhood and did develop PTSD from it.
I’m sorry to hear this. :hugging:

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I had lots of Trauma as a child, it has effected my adult life in a big way, you never get rid of that stuff, goes on for life

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When you come to the point where you can forgive (but not forget), you start feeling way better.
I know it sounds like a cheesy saying, but it is possible.

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I don’t live everyday thinking about it, nor am I going on beating a dead horse, it is what it is, sadly though for some of us there is no going back home, Try to discuss it with your Pdoc and all they want to do is increase your med’s…

I would rather be singing the right tune but to many bridges have been burned

I have been working on forgiveness. I can forgive my brother. He feels badly for his past actions and desperately worked to show he would never do it again. It’s harder to forgive my mom, because she isn’t sorry. She won’t even admit she did anything wrong. She still tries to do it occasionally. I have no clue how to give forgiveness to someone who isn’t interested. Any tips?

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The last time I spoke to my father, I spit most of it out, I was told he spent the day running around to family , drinking and crying the blues of how his poor ego was bruised. He never acknowledged any of it and although he told others they had been looking for me (they could have found me easily) he worked harder at keeping me out of the family.

Point being even though you may live and grow, other family members will not and go on thinking everything they did was right or they know it was wrong and would prefer you just go away so they don’t have to deal with it. Which shows they had no respect for you in the first place.

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Wow. Uhm, I’m not quite sure how I did that.
I don’t talk to my parents much, so distancing yourself for a while might help. I talk to my mom on the phone every week now, and am fine with that. My dad is not a big talker, so we usually talk around my b-day or christmas.
Neither of them is sorry and they don’t see that they have done something wrong, but I just decided to let go of all my anger one day.
I wish I could be of more help. But I would say that a stable enviorment around one self helps the healing process.
First, work on your own situation, then focus on everything else. While doing so, I took time for myself and had no contact.

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I’m sorry if I sounded judgy, that was not my intent.

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Thanks. This is helpful.

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The way I see it, they’re wired that way, it could be us it could be some other poor soul. We feel affected because it happened to us, not just because it happened. We know horrible things happen every day, we see violence on tv every day, we are used to it, we don’t develop PTSD because of it. But because it messed with our integrity, with our identities, it becomes really hard to overcome, and turns into this very ugly thing that’s very hard to talk about.

The first step is to understand this, the second is to understand that although they are responsible for their acts, they probably coulnd’t do any better if they tried. That’s the step towards forgiveness.

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Thank you both for sharing your stories.

Forgiveness is not given away like a gift, and you don’t need anyone to accept your forgiveness.

Forgiveness is more a state of mind, and a very good one that you can be proud of having.

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These are both very helpful pieces of advice. You guys are awesome!

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My childhood was great, the only person I ever feared was my mother and that has since passed.

I turned the mirror thread into my childhood trauma thread. Also having hernia surgery a month before freshman year of hs really set me back a lot. And I had a doctor who said something that caused a lot of trauma. A lot of minor incidents. When I got cut from the baseball team and a girl said “ewwwww” about me when someone said “I think Jon has a crush on you Miranda”. I think those were the straws that broke the camel back and I entered world of delusion…

Well, there is a model of schizophrenia called the diathesis stress model.

It says we all have had horrible shyt happen to us. I know I am in that boat with you.

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I don’t if forgiving a person is the answer, I don’t waste my time living every moment hating someone and I think we would all be surprised how little time most people think about us.

Rather than forgive I would rather just forget and move on to more positive people

This is going to sound cheesy and maybe patronising, but the last person I hated and the last person I forgave was myself.

Oh now I made myself cry again. NN

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