I remember all kinds of fun things i did in my childhood like playing with neighbours kids, cousins, siblings, school kids and church kids, i had a pretty fullfilled upbringing for the most part
My parents didn’t have a lot of money so clothes and toys were passed on and we had to share. There are a couple of things i wish never happened. I got anxiety aged 10 and things went wrong at school i shouldn’t have started skipping meals that didn’t help with anxiety but the leaving religion part caused depression and i withdrew a lot, left school earlier than i should. My twentys i started to live again, found friends went clubbing, worked and dabbled in college. I found myself getting more paranoid, hearing voices and then my life gradually turned upside down at 25 onwards
The prodrome phase of schizophrenia lasted a few years i think because acute psychosis didn’t come until years later, early 30’s, i still have struggles but there more manageable
I don’t remember much of my childhood. Mind you I’m 43 now so it was some time ago.
My prodromal phase was a good 18 months. I went from the occasional paranoid thought to thinking my dead grandfather was communicating with me in morse code through a squeaky ceiling fan. It was a wild ride for 12 months after that as I slowly sank into depression and was riddled with anxiety. I responded well to medication though, when I finally saw a specialist. I was really relieved to find out there was something wrong with me, all that time I thought the world had changed around me.
Aww it just shows us doesn’t it , how far this illness gets a grip of our minds
Im 44 i have lots of memories but the bad ones are mostly while having schizophrenia
Yeah it is an insideious disease. I’m pretty well controlled now on meds, but if I miss one by accident then all hell breaks loose for a few days 
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I think, at least in my experience, that insight into the disease becomes easier with age.
Thats really good @Pat6398 that you have things going well. I struggle with thoughts, voices and seeing things but im much better than even a year ago. Time is giving me more insight, i just wish my life had never become so difficult, i would have had kids and a better life otherwise
Thanks for chat
No worries @anon29983254. I can relate to your line of thought. I often feel bad about my lost time, all the things I could have accomplished.
My approach to getting better was to mix patience with meds followed by chasing pdocs to get something better. It took me six years of pain and tears, but I got there in the end.
I hope you find a solution 
I try not to think of childhood memories too much. It makes me tearful.
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