I have got invitation for job interview. Well, at least there are interviews. I want to go. But it’s a better job. It brought me stress. I feel distressed. Although I have spent many years studying and working in the field, I don’t think I can answer any questions they ask me. It’s just difficult to prepare for the interviews. I read the policy documents and I understand reasonably. But I can’t provide long answer to question. It would be a pain for me to do presentation. I have poor memory. It’s so easy to appear unfit.
Even if I got this job, I doubt if there’s any possibility I could renew my contract. I’m not good performing I’m afraid. I think most people would out perform me. Even if I could manage the job, there’s tons of reasons I’m not good enough.
I can step back and try some easier job. I think a job like my present one is ideal. I have been trying but no good news yet. Perhaps it’s better to do a low pay easy job that provides stability. But since I’m over qualified, people are often unwilling to hire me. And there’s such a large volume of people qualified to compete for the job.
It is also about the pay. The easy job is low pay. It’s at poverty level. It would be like a frugal life forever. A soda would be expensive to me. I just can’t let my mom pays for me. I want the other way round. I want to pay for mom regularly. But it’s unlikely.
I can’t get what I want. I’m willing to endure the stress and the hard work. But the outlook for me is very dim.