Can someone be gay yet not like the idea of same-sex sex? Or can someone be a loner for years, since childhood, and therefore mistakenly think anything that is warm and friendly is “gay”?
I’m a male and I feel like a psychopath currently. Like I know so much about the economy and racist things, especially since those DNA ancestry products are advertised everywhere and all the coverage of trans is even seen on neutral news stations my old psychiatrist recommended like PBS. I got spooked by anonymous social media outlets like Candid and YikYak, thinking someone was playing with me trying to bait me into a heart attack, now I think I have the power to do the same to other people who are “oblivious” to the “real world”. I think I am mistaking this power and fear for homosexuality. Idk. Now males make me nervous and I have this red face of desperation and facial ticks that bug me. This came out of nowhere after the spook online, at age 27-28. I remember about ~3 years before I went to my cousin’s capoeira meetup and I had a front-row seat while my dad and uncle were sitting next to me and there was even a camera on the stage filming the capoeira fighters from behind so it was also capturing me and my face reactions, and there were a lot of shirtless muscular healthy males and I thought nothing of it. I was calm. I had no stress. Now such a situation gives me nightmares because I will get that annoying facial tick and flirt(?) and people will think I am gay when the thought of same-sex does not appeal to me personally.
even though I am heterosexual when I was delusional I thought the dark side had forced me to make gay porn…!! it was always a humiliating thoughts in my mind as I imagined what the porn must have been like…once I stabilized I realized there never was any gay porn or anything like that anymore…strange that our mind could think that way though.
I also forgot to mention that the facial ticks also happen when I read the word “he” in books when the context isn’t even sexual and when the book hasn’t described what the person being referred to as “he” looks like.
Maybe the tic is because you have so much anxiety about the subject. I would say try not to worry if you are gay or not. If you have an archaic attitude towards being gay, adjusting that may help you some as there will be less to be afraid of.
My voices still call me gay all the time even though idgaf.
But they lost the power to traumatize me. I’m a little insulted but I don’t care. I’m not insulted because I think it’s bad to be gay, it’s just the very fact that I’m not and they’re saying I am.
I’m bisexual and I’ve been this way since I was four years old. I had my first homosexual experimentation when I was four. I started digging both guys and girls in the first grade, long before sza hit.
no @SkinnyMe you didn’t offend me…you asked what idgaf means and I was telling you “I don’t give an f”. is what it means…haha…I love that you’re bisexual…
I’ve been “confused and uncertain” about my sexuality all of my adult life. I wasn’t confused about it as a kid. It was just natural as a kid. I don’t know why I didn’t consider that more. Any way this confusion I just interpreted as bisexuality in the end.