Ok, my paranoia and worries were big for long… I also turned in some savage animal with this illness, plus this lasted for decades…
Now I fight, I fight even the numbness of the too many aps that they gave me… one doc said, that I’ve tried too many yeah… but now I am scared for myself… I am less numb, but I was having many thinking deficits too…
I take my zyprexa since 5 years, i dont switch it. It helps me to be on my feet… but my fears are still here, they cause even physical pain sometimes…
But now, that i get more awake per moments, i am scared that i can regress in a total paranoia one day, cause my life situation is still ultra bad 
can this happen in fact? Or maybe the paranoia will come and go away as till now? 
Idk, I am not sure I wont degradate… it would have happen till now, no? Or the zyprexa will help this still?
Idk… my psychological state was destroyed by something, maybe by my parents yeah…
It’s always possible to regress in any mental illness. That’s why I still attend AA meetings to maintain my sobriety and why I still do therapy and CBT for my schizophrenia. If you’re coasting you’re probably going downhill. Keep pedaling.
It’s always come and gone before. Do you feel it’s getting worse now?
I hate seeing you suffer like this
I have found once I have been on a med that controls the psychosis well, it has been fairly manageable
The issues I dealt with after that came up was anxiety, then Autism and now depression apparently.
Perhaps you’re feeling some anxiety around your illness? I am not diagnosing you, but might be something to think about
I know anecdotally that the anxiety was only really noticeable once the psychosis was under control
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