I joke around a lot but my life isn’t how I would like it to be. But I guess anyone could say this. I’m lucky in some ways, other ways my life sucks. It changes day to day. my life looks horrible in the morning but as the day goes by, good things happen to me along with the bad. Like most of you, I just want to be left alone. I don’t want to be alone, I just want to be LEFT alone. There’s a difference. No ones buying it though. My sister told me long ago I have to push back. Anyway, I have a roof over my head, I got a car, some people are friendly to me. I manage to get out most days. I even found a good parking spot today, which made my day. Anyway it could be a lot worse. It could be a lot better. Good dinner tonight. Petted the cat, ate some nuts drank a soda. Did my errand.
77nick77 you have held your head up high when adversity came across your life’s path. 
you showed guts when your life turned upside down.
you showed strength when your mother passed.
you never gave in …or gave up…when many others…including myself would have.
you are an inspiration…to me and many others…thank you. 
take care 
.
I’m glad your doing better and finding some small victories in the day.
Usually I can do that… I’m content… I know I’m lucky.
But then there are days that feel so hard and the world feels so jagged and mean.
I just want to curl up somewhere and be left alone.
I’m having a hard time over something and I’m not sure what.
Well, I hope you can pinpoint what’s bugging you SurprisedJ. Did you start school yet?
Third week of school and things are going Ok… no hard reading… much more hands on.
Have you ever had a lot of little things build up until it becomes one big thing?
Are you back in school now too?
Many thanks darksith.
Yes, I’m a big list and note taker. I write down everything that needs to be done and check it every day. Some days I procrastinate and my list gets too long. It’s stressful. And I’m not in school this quarter, I didn’t register in time.
@77nick77
Ty man. I am now 18 years without booze or dope and man I’m lonely… I still feel many are against me often . I went to an NA gig tonight tho and I feel good about frequenting there again for some hugs.
But I feel useless often bro. I must be crazy because I feel most say “18 years and you’ve accomplished Jack squat”. Its a coldness in my soul bro. But I’m glad there are other sz cause you all understand I think… because I see you as a good guy and maybe others see me that way too
First of all, congratulations on 18 years, that’s quite an accomplishment. I feel people are against me too sometimes. We’re probably both half-way right sometimes. By the way, I read a lot of your posts and I get the impression that you are a good guy.
Yes, I do understand. I understand that (according to what I read last week) we all have the third most disabling disease in the world. Schizophrenia strikes some people harder than others. Often whether we recover or not is just the luck of the draw.
You can’t be blamed for having a disease. We have to deal with problems that others don’t understand or don’t know about. It’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t make us bad people. It doesn’t make us failures.
The sad truth is that this disease doesn’t give us a fighting chance in lots of areas in life and it is not our fault. You wouldn’t expect someone with a broken leg to compete in a marathon. We’re in the same situation. Our broken leg is schizophrenia, the marathon is life itself. I wish I could help you, hopefully you can find a little something to do to bolster your spirits. There’s help out there. I have schizophrenia, you have schizophrenia. We both do what we can do.