Blaming others for all the problems in your life

I know in theory we shouldn’t. But sometimes its damn true.

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I sometimes do this in my darker moments. You can’t help it sometimes. It’s fine as long as you don’t use it as an excuse to never get better.

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I always blame myself even when things happen to me that are out of my control. A friend of mine on time go me a plaque with the Serenity prayer on it. Just thinking about it changes your whole attitude.

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I usually don’t, but when I’m in a deep, dark place I sometimes do.

Summary

I often blame my parents for not protecting me when I was a young boy from an uncle who repeatedly raped me over an extended period. I have broken sleep from nightmares of the trauma to this day.

Overall, I take personal responsibility.

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It’s not good. I’m more guilty of blaming myself for everything, especially the things that are probably not my fault. I don’t know why we fire blame in all directions.

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blaming others is okay; but there’s little that a man can do, if he chooses that route.

I think that blaming others is easier than blaming yourself, but changing yourself is easier than changing others.

besides, I have paranoid sz; so I’m 100% confident that my problems are usually my fault rather than others’ fault.

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It’s one of the advantages of having a spouse that there’s always someone near at hand to blame. :wink:

I don’t blame others, I blame the Government

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Sometimes I blame my parents, it’s like a little rant I have inside, but I don’t dwell on it, because past is irreversible. I still have a horrible relationship with mother, and probably would be the same with my father if he wasn’t dead.

I blame them for
•having a bad marriage and not trying to hide it from me
• being a conservative, tough and I couldn’t speak to them about things
• considering a physical punishment as a way of disciplining
• sending me confusing signals about what’s right and what’s wrong
•having a bunch of taboo topics so I was afraid to talk when the times has come

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I used to blame my parents. They probably deserve a C-/D+ grade for the first 20 some odd years of my life. But since then they get an A/A+ so can’t really blame them anymore.

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I’ve forgiven my parents for their mistakes. Still have a lot of forgiveness to take care of for other people’s mistakes, though

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Sometimes I feel my parents wanted a son, but they didn’t wanna actually raise him to be a man. Then when I started bitching about their parenting something kicked in and they woke up.

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I blame my dad, mostly, for me being the way I am. I don’t do that so much out of anger, as just because I need an explanation for why I am the way I am. My dad did a lot of good stuff for me. He was a conscientious, caring parent. He just had one fault that destroyed his life. Sometimes it amazes me when I think about how much more competent he was than me - all the skills he had that are lacking in me. Our family pretty much stuck him in a nice nursing home situation and then turned our back on him. I remember one Christmas I was asking why we weren’t going to see dad. All the rest of the family didn’t want to. It kind of hurt me to think about how he must have felt being abandoned by his family on Christmas.

I only blame my parents when my brain gets hijacked by irony ( intrusive thoughts and rage/anger )

That’s horribly assholish. Why he was in a nursing home?

So he could be watched. He was a pedophile. Also, he had some kind of brain condition similar to Alzheimer’s. A sharp lawyer kept him out of jail using that as a defense. He eventually died of this brain disease.

Oh God that’s a sad story.:cry: I’m so sorry.
I understand that he must faced a lot of stigma.

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I’ve heard more than one guy say, “I swore I’d never be like my dad, and I turned out just like him.” That’s one reason I kind of shy away from kids. I like kids, but I keep my distance from them.

Well certain things can be blamed on genetics ( like alcoholism) but I’ve never heard that pedophilia is one of them. But I certainly understand the psihological and emotional pressure you must feel because of your father. Nevertheless, we need less judgmental people around us and more understanding. I hate taboos and I hate demonizing people because of their mistakes and flaws. Pathological behaviour have complex and deep roots and its a sign of emotional immaturity to just left out such individuals.
You’re a good bean @crimby :heart:

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Thank you. It’s hard to say what is genetic and what is learned behavior. I think most pedophiles were themselves molested when they were young. In prison pedophiles are looked down on and preyed upon relentlessly, which I find a little hypocritical, considering all the rape that goes on in prison.

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