I cannot explain how hard I try to feel like a normal human being. I can look the part, try my best to play the part, but I end up feeling like a fraud when I feel my real, horrifyingly embarrassing side and cannot contain it.
Some days my real self shines through and I feel genuine, but it’s just a facade too maybe. All I feel is a terrible loneliness, which fuels my suicidal thoughts, and I feel like no one would ever want to really know who I am. I wonder if anyone feels the same…?
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I’d wanna know the real you. You gotta be careful with who you share your disease with I think. Well I should be more careful. But I have friends and family I CAN share anything with. And this board!! Great outlets. Everybody here understands. And you can be real as you want here. Welcome.
Being able to talk about it is empowering.
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what is your diagnosis?
I’m trying to figure out if you are here to scam us.
Same here. I’ve learned there are only certain people I can be open to because most people can’t handle it, don’t want to hear it, and overreact to what I tell them and end up making me regret telling them anything.
Why would you say that? Nobody comes here to scam people
oh yes they do!
You weren’t on the old site then, we were inundated by trolls.
You’re right, I weren’t.
But for future reference, if you have those suspicions about someone, don’t post it until you have proof.
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hi Daze. well how does one scam on a website? i’m not the scamming type. don’t know what i’d go after lol. i am on disability for schizophrenia and dissociation since 2010. i’m 42 and have no life or purpose it seems.
I’m 39 and I have no life and I don’t want one. I hate going outside and most activity just stresses me out. Just accept yourself for who you are and get on with trying to find things you enjoy doing
I am wicked polite until I feel safe and accepted around a person. Also fairly distant. It makes making friends difficult.
@amity. What you just described sounds like borderline personality disorder. But the good news is through treatment, usually dbt training, people can overcome it. My best friend is borderline, and through treatment she’s gotten a lot better.
dunno who the real me is anymore. I made the mistake of being very open about my mental illness but only because the need to be open is still very necessary for me. i don’t know if i’m expressing it correctly.
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