I have a family issue at the moment and I want to take on board that i am selfish and think of myself first
I have a progressive psychosis profile but no major trauma for 12 years - will it still be worse if it comes back?
I also have an autistic type of Schizophrenia and have a great feeling that i want to talk to others on the spectrum.
my problem has often been that in times of high stress like now I react very badly to being told i’m selfish or self centred
it seems one of the worst things you can say to a schizophrenic`
I remember being told this in cruel ways before at times of crisis
but now i need to know more
how do i become less selfish
i can’t put myself in other’s shoes at all
i mean it it is an autistic trait.
I’m reading about how to change
do you have any experience of any of this?
Help out the homeless. Serve at a soup kitchen is a start. Take responsibility to put yourself second and others first. Are you married with kids or single
no i have an unwell mother and sister and a good husband.
I put his needs first in the sense that i cook and make sure i’m around when he is and i put his sleep first on shifts and do the washing and general house keeping.
they all think I’m selfish
I buy expensive luxury items when others would buy a few sessions of physio for my mum who is unwell from my wages
I really do not know how to talk to people who are homeless. I have had little experience of reaching out in a personal way
i’ve done a lot of charity work but it’s not been hands on.
I could not help homeless in person - when i was 7 a homeless man raped my mother in her home in front of my sister when she was 3. it continues to have repercussions
i still buy the big issue sometimes and have consideration
I used to be seen as selfish because I was bad at conversation.
I would be awaiting my turn to speak instead of listening to what the other person was saying.
And whatever someone told me, I found a way to relate it to something from my own life.
Maybe try to work on conversation skills, like active listening techniques.
Another thing that made people brand me as selfish was saying things like “perhaps you should see a therapist”.
It made people feel like I would give advice because I felt like I was better than them instead of just listening to them or agree that their problems sucked. They felt like I didn’t acknowledge their feelings.
Asperger syndrome includes an inability to understand non-verbal communication and facial cues. Thus, a person may not be aware of the feelings of others and this can be perceived as selfishness.
Much of getting along with people is being aware of what they want - Aspies tend to miss this and appear cold, indifferent, selfish. Even when they want to be nice to others, they can end up being jerks without realizing it. This is where basic training in understanding people becomes so important for these people.
I struggle with reading people as well. I cannot for the life of me figure out body language, it just passes right over my head. I think this is an autistic symptom, or possibly something more so on the asperger’s syndrome. I’m not quite sure honestly. Things just don’t click for me.
I mean, somebody could be super pissed off and I would never know unless they told me. The selfishness I can also relate to. try performing random acts of kindness, trust me, it goes a long way. Volunteer for something local that catches your interest. If you like animals, find a shelter or farm to volunteer your time. Retirement homes, old people are easy to talk to and they have tons of interesting stories to tell
With all the things you do for them, it doesn’t sound like you’re selfish. It sounds like a communication issue and a perspective-taking issue.
I don’t have Asperger’s, though. It’s a little late, maybe, to see a therapist about this, but there are therapists who specialize in helping people with Asperger’s and autism.
I was diagnosed falsely as having aspergers at one point, because I met certain guidelines that made sense to the doctor. I learned a lot about it afterward, and started seeing things from that perspective, as there are traits that I did share with those on the spectrum.
I think just asking questions and communicating can only help, as someone else mentioned earlier in this thread. But it sounds like you’re willing to work with others, but others have been less than understanding with you, which is a hard place to start from. So it’ll probably be up to you to open lines of communication.