I hate myself for being selfish but I just can’t break down the barriers that prevent me from being a giving person. I’ve given before, but it wasn’t good enough.
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Were you raised as an only child, @PinCushion? I was, and that spoiled me.
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No, I was the youngest of 3.
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So was I, but the other two moved out by the time I was 3yo. The youngest tends to get the most attn, esp in a case like mine where the parents are still working at being better moms and dads.
My brother and sister were within 3 years of me in age. What’s this got to do with being selfish? Unless they clung to the last one and didn’t want me to learn skills of independence.
It made me “selfish” because I didn’t have to fight for my parents’ attn. Also, I didn’t have to learn to share with siblings. There was always enough for me, me, me. If there was ice cream in the freezer, I could have it without worrying about the other mouths to feed, etc.
Are you rich. Give to the poor!
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Am I the only one who’s an only child? Here
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I’m not rich. I think it has to do with trying to please a perfectionist who really doesn’t do that well herself…and won’t admit it.
In AA they say, “Progress, not perfection.”
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Schizophrenia makes you very self focused. I was a very cool and giving person till diagnosis and meds. It takes a lot of mental energy for me to navigate the world these days.
It’s not you @PinCushion by yourself. I think we are all there otherwise we’d be long gone!
It’s not a bad thing! You need to look after yourself. As too others you really need to work hard with that and that depends on your meds and function. It still drains me but I get out there every week! It’s important!
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My mum used to call me selfish. I don’t think I am though.
I’ve heard that the youngest tends to get put down by his or her older siblings, and the parents put more attention on the youngest to soften some of the harsher treatment by the older siblings. That provokes more harsh treatment by the older siblings, which is compensated for by the parents by giving the youngest more love. It’s a vicious cycle. Because of that the youngest tend to be ambivalent about things in general. I’m the youngest of three kids, and I found this to be somewhat true when I was very young, but only marginally so. As I got older my older siblings were good to me.
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