Schizophrenia.com

Beautiful Psychosis / Mystical Psychosis


#1

I know that when I started to get ugly psychosis I had to get help for my self and know more about schizophrenia, so I found the old forum about two months ago and started posting…but now I regained what I thought to be a blessed beyond-normal state of mind, or only part of it for now…I thought that god is making up for me that I was so tortured by my ugly symptoms when I was a child, and that I felt like I never lived my childhood because of that, so I’m having this beautiful psychosis to make up for the past :heartbeat: but I know now that it is a symptom of schizophrenia, I think that schizophrenics who have this type of psychosis don’t seek help or think that they have a problem, because in essence it is more like living in heaven, exactly the opposite of my ugly and horrifying psychosis :skull: where you feel like you’re living hell. Some people who experience this also might get the delusion of being a god or a prophet, luckily I don’t :smile:
I’ll be mostly alone, or alone in my head, I start feeling happy and satisfied, an overwhelming feeling takes over me and I feel lifted up to the heavens, like I entered a different dimension, and I’m occupying all of the universe and sense its mystical secrets, a feeling that I know everything takes over me, and going beyond the stupid materialistic desires, death don’t scare me any more, everything is possible and all dreams can be true…a joyous feeling posses my body and soul and tears of extreme happiness start to fall involuntarily…

It was so hard that I couldn’t find resources about what I experience, all what psychiatry mention about psychosis is evil I found in an article two different sz who have described that experience, and the psychiatrist call it oddly a psychotic episode ! I felt most of what is written in the paragraphs for about half an hour yesterday, I even had more feelings that words can’t describe, in the past 3 years or more I experienced it everyday but I have experienced it before that two years ago, and it’s related to a fantasy I have, which seems so logical and possible, an obsession in science…( I allowed my self to remove parts of the paragraphs that I didn’t feel related to but, I didn’t change the words).
Any body have had that experience with a beautiful or mystical psychosis ?

1 All at once, without warning of any kind, I saw that the universe is not composed of dead matter, but is, on the contrary, a living Presence; I became conscious in myself of eternal life, but a consciousness that I possessed eternal life then; I saw that all men are immortal; that the cosmic order is such that without any peradventure all things work together for the good of each and all; that the foundation principle of the world, of all the worlds, is what we call love, and the happiness of each and all is in the long run absolutely certain.

2 What I saw was the Power of Love, the Power that I knew somehow to have made all the universes, past, present and to come; to be utterly infinite, an infinity of infinities, to have conquered the Power of Hate, its opposite, and thus created the sun, the moon, the planets, the earth, light, life, joy and peace, never ending…. In that peace I felt utterly and completely forgiven, relieved from all burden of sin. The whole infinity seemed to open up before me, and during the weeks and months that followed I passed through experiences which are virtually indescribable. The complete transformation of “reality” transported me as it were into the Kingdom of Heaven. I feel so close to God, so inspired by His Spirit. I am utterly and completely immortal; I am even male and female. The whole Universe, animate and inanimate, past, present and future is within me; all things are possible.

If I can only get the beautiful psychosis then I wouldn’t exchange my schizophrenia for anything, I love this feeling, I feel life because of it. I know that it’s shear crazy but I can’t help it, I have schizophrenia, and this is one of the good things about it. don’t judge me.


Pain disorder, any suggestion?
#2

i love what you have wrote, i can feel it too, it poured out of my soul


#3

i was in engulfed with fear at times in the past but ive learnt to turn the fear into love, like the rays of the sun…:slight_smile:


#4

When I feel like I can control my life I get this beautiful psychosis happening to me, but when I lose control over and over, the horrifying episodes start to emerge.


#5

I used to believe that to live you couldn’t let go, that to exist you had to hold onto the precious moments. I now believe that the deserts are God’s dried tears, and the oceans made us who we are. Dangerous, wild, monsterously human. I’ve been conferring with a thought that’s tugging at me constantly. Should we be attached to the flesh of life or believe in more than what we are? By this I mean, the world around us is physical and the world within us is spiritual. The mind is not capable of existing without a soul, and the soul is the connect of our pieces, and if we ever figure how to connect as a whole as humanity, then maybe all the puzzle pieces will turn out to be even more than the soul could have imagined or made. Maybe unity is the answer, but what is a unified nothingness, a bleak existence of white pictureless faces? Is it impossible to question the world when the world forgets how to question itself? Perhaps we are here because we are the world, and we are dying and so is the world.

If we are all there is, than we’ve burned ourselves down all in the name of nothingness. Someday I feel fill the void, someday the illusion and the sky will collide, and all we will wonder is what we held within when we burned all we saw, and felt crumble between our fingers, the ash and soot of papers that say nothing but lies. I want to be crazy, I want to crash though, if I am a lunatic to believe that time is not a straight line, then I’m mad enough to run circles around it too. Sometimes the world scares me. Then I wake up and it was just a dream, a secret metal cage for the stupid animals to breed in. Let the planet be overrun by holy machines. ■■■■ them all, people, we’re dumb by design. God let me out, I’m not a concubine. Shove the pills in my mouth cuz I dared to divine that the world’s not his, but mine. I hate that I’m too see through to shatter, I will just stop caring to ask, I don’t think it matters.


#6

I think that there is a whole different aspect to sz that doesn’t get put into the textbooks of psychology where you can actually get blessed by it as much as you get hurt by it. In different cultures around the world the process of becoming a shaman is actually very close to was we civilized people call mental illness. And if you can tough it out, you can get what some spiritual people call siddhis or powers. Most psychologists think it is nutty, but I have used mine to do all kinds of stuff. I have used manifestation techniques to materialize over $12,000 in the last five years, i have used it to meet cool people, go to california, and all other kinds of things. I think sz is what other cultures would call making a shaman. There are lots of good books on it. Hang in there. What some people call crazy others call being spiritually attuned. If you think you have this stuff going on and it blesses you, see if you can channel it into a way to help others or yourself. If you have the same thing i do, try reading “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain for all kinds of stuff. If you want to use it for money you can repeat to yourself “Wealth.Success, Love, wealth, success, love, etc” and do it a few times a day and when you fall asleep. I have taught this to friends and so far from everyone combined it has raise over $40,000. One kid won the lottery! So, yes it is definitely a gift as much as a curse. Just got to make it through the hard times.


#7

that was beautiful, i hope you only have, and continue to have those amazing experiences .
i wish you all the best.
take care


#8

Thank you darksith, I hope you feel that way some day too, I haven’t had it for the first 9 years since I became a sz, but then it started to happen…I think all of us meet this beautiful feeling someday and fall into it.


#9

Thank you for this advice, I’m downloading now the audio book and the e-book, I hope it’s has valuable information.
But what you have talked about in visualizing desires is something that any person can do and it’s not restricted on schizophrenics. What kind of thing you have (that you’ve mentioned) ? what you have into being able to helping others ? could u be a little specific, I would like to hear what you have to say…


#10

Hi Alex-

I am not sure what I have. It seems to fit some of the symptoms of sz but for all i can tell it seems to have just as much good as bad, although the paranoia does get difficult sometimes. Some doctors have said it is sz, but it came about a few weeks after I used a ouija board and did some magick from a random book i found. And as far as people having sz having these abiilties, Joseph Campbell wrote a book on how he visited a mental institution and it really got his attention when someone with sz actually healed themselves and had abilities to help others with some type of ability. As far as it goes for helping others, i think that people with sz like symptoms just affect reality much more with their thoughts and they are tapped into some spiritual realm waaaaay more than other people, which is why books like creative visualization work incredibly well for me now and never used to. I don’t know how to explain the link between sz and manifestation, but I definitely think it is there. Try the book. If you get rich I want 10%!


#11

and you can use creative visualization to help other people too. You can also use candle magick


#12

Thanks Will, I’m reading the book now, I bought a lottery ticket so if I won I would be sending you a thank you gift after the new year :smiley: wish me luck.


#13

Good luck!! That book may be very good for you and I hope it is!


#14

Thank you for posting this. Just as there is not a lot of talk of nice tactile hallucinations, there’s not a lot of info on nice psychotic episodes. They make it sound like an oxymoron.

But I have had a few in my life that where it manic was raising and the panic was leaving and it was amazing. Filled with calm, love, and the universe. I do agree, if that was all the sensation I had, I’d never wish to be cured. But every good has a bad. My channel was wide open and I was connected to everything. It tasted like pure water and felt like a good manic fever and I was in love with living. I was free and open and all fear was gone from me. No regrets, only calm, peace and joy. I would love to feel that again but I would have to come off meds to do it… So it remains a joy from the past.


#15

It did really felt like being washed by pure fresh water from melting ice of the mountains, washing away all sorrows, all bad thoughts, removing all fears, being one with universe. And I think if there was enough awareness about it then we can switch our bad experiences in psychosis into a beautiful overwhelming experience that normal people can’t obtain even with high methods of meditation. I hope this happens someday.
unfortunately I only got it two days ago, I still get the paranoia, some hallucinations, and a little of bad psychosis, I didn’t get the beautiful psychosis for a long time…It feels like crossing over from hell to heaven and I think I’m still tripping in between…I still struggle everyday, of my horrible delusions, I’m not a cry baby, but now it’s too much for me to handle, torturing, my delusions keep me from having a healthy relationship with my family and the world…But I’m hoping for a change and I’m fighting back.