Bad at taking meds, therapist visit and vivid dreams

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I’m frustrated because lately I’ve been forgetting to take my meds in the morning. This will be like the 3rd day in a row I’ve skipped my morning dose of Risperidone. I can’t even complain about still having psychotic symptoms when I’m not taking it properly. It’s not just that I’m forgetting to take my meds it’s also that it’s become work to me. I don’t know or understand why certain things my brain latches onto and decides would be a great effort to complete, and puts into the “overwhelming” category, filled with things such as showering, teeth brushing, getting dressed, and now taking my meds. Taking my meds takes all of 5 seconds so I don’t understand why I am so resistant towards taking them. Why is my brain telling me it’s difficult to do? Why is it equivocating taking a few pills to me having to go out and run 5 miles? I don’t understand at all.

Secondly I saw my therapist a few days ago for the first time in a month, since she went on vacation. It was a good talk. She says she thinks I did a good job taking care of myself during the crisis I had while she was gone. I was also relieved that she came back and hadn’t ditched me like my last therapist did. Anyhow we talked some more about various things and she made it glaringly more obvious that I have all the symptoms of someone who experienced sexual abuse as a child. I’m only missing the fact that I was not abused or else have no memory of it. I feel if I did have anything happen to me as a child I would have just viewed it as something strange. So many weird things happened to me when I was little, life was almost dreamlike. It all blurs together and fades out of my memory. Personally right now I’m sticking to the belief that my sexual abuse issues came from that bad psychotic episode of being raped, molested and otherwise tortured during high school. I don’t really have any desire to discover that something disturbing happened to me before then, as suspicious as my therapist may be. (Sometimes I wonder if she feels like I’m hiding something-I’m not)

Thirdly I’ve been having intense dreams and just been sleeping intensely for the past couple weeks I guess. I suspect it’s due to the sleep deprivation I had while I was taking organic chemistry. I wake up covered in imprints from my mattress and dripping with sweat. Therapist says maybe I’m having bad nightmares and not remembering them. I have been having nightmares but most of them have only been minor on the severity scale I feel like, for me anyways. Last night I had an intense dream about making the wrong decision in situations where it was impossible to know what the right decision was and then getting killed because of it. These dreams are so vivid and realistic I often feel disoriented upon waking from them.

Anyhow this post has gone on a while, I’m pretty much just rambling and guaranteeing hardly anyone will read it. Oh well. I’m out reading at the book store and want to go home but don’t want to be alone with my dad because of the anxiety I get with him. Gotta wait until my mom gets back from the bday party my little sisters went to.

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Hi @Anna. Are you better at taking medicine at night time? I think I remember when you started Abilify you were taking it at night, or that might have been someone else sorry.

If you feel more comfortable and confident taking your meds at night, maybe talk to your pdoc about switching the time you take meds just so you know if there are any expected side effects from doing that, like insomnia.

I get nightmares too. Most of my dreams are nightmares. It’s horrible and scary isn’t it?

I’m glad your therapist is back to talk to.

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Ever thought of moving to depot injections. That way you don’t have to worry bout missing tablets.

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I think I am better at taking meds at night. I will talk to my therapist about it next time.

I feel like most of my dreams now are nightmares too…just like when I was a kid…argh

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What’s the difference between them and pills?

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You get the injection maybe once or twice a month from a nurse. It means you don’t have to take pills everyday. There is a risperdal injection called consta. A few people here take it.

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Set an alarm on your phone for the meds.

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I carry my meds in a pillbox, a little cinnamon mints box that is steel and sounds like a little maraca.

I fill it up every morning and I take the meds when I should based on the time. For example, when I wake up I take two meds, they lay on the nightstand and then I take them. I remember that if I do not take them, I might actually die, as is the case with the propranolol 160mg. If I miss the other meds, I will just end up restless then psychotic then in withdrawals.

I just had a sleepless night, my first night on half as much Geodon, ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ making me stay wide awake but I have to clear the Geodon so I can get on the right dose of Rexulti.

Anyways, I would like to tell you that it’s in the literature that people with SCZ report having been sexually mistreated by hallucinations–and demons are a common culprit of the perceived abuse. For example…some people have reported orgasm from tactile/haptic (sensory) hallucinations. Others report rape.

as far as remembering to take meds…sounds like you have a mental block about that. I would suggest what the others above have suggested and also try this; wear a rubber band (loose fitting) around your wrist and when you realize you’ve forgotten your meds, snap the rubber band and old-school condition yourself to avoid getting your wrist (lots of nerves) getting popped by the rubber band.

and definitely talk to your shrink about this stuff.

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I can really relate about being daunted at simple tasks that it would be easier just to complete. I’ve caused myself trouble like that. I would be careful about taking your med’s erratically. That can get you in trouble. You would probably be more comfortable if you were more conscientious about taking your med’s. Your sleep would probably be better and you’d have fewer nightmares.