Asocial and marriage-what are your thoughts?

Today while waiting for my depot injection the conversation got round to interacting with others . I said I wasn’t driven to interact with others and was quite asocial. The nurse said “Well you were married” as though that knocked being asocial on the head. She also said I was quite easy to talk to as though that also argued against it. I am struggling to see that having been married and being quite easy to talk to is proof against being asocial. In my 22 years of living with my wife I’d had almost no interaction outside of our respective families. Certainly no friends and made little attempt to remedy that situation. Does being married or having been married mean you were never asocial?


being married sounds like success to me, personally im nervous socially and wouldnt be able to make theat bond


Although there was a nearly 22 year age difference we just clicked from the start . I found it hard to interact with anyone else though and wasn’t that interested.


Were you different in the past?

Not really. I’ve always been very much an introvert and loner.

if you can connect with your wife then i would think u can connect with other people


I am not anti social . If put in a situation where being social is required as opposed to being rude then I’ll do so , but I don’t find it at all easy and am not driven to do so of my own volition.

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I’m the same way and I’m married. Though recently I’ve felt the pangs of loneliness. But even still it’s not like I’m going out to remedy the situation. I have my internet friends who don’t really seem interested in talking to me. Don’t need to be rejected in real life, too.

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I am definitely not asocial but it seems my mindset is in a transformation.

I am enjoying more and more my privacy and loneliness.

I enjoy being in a relationship, with its ups and downs, I definitely like it better than being single. Being single is problematic, you really need to go out of your way to meet new people.

I am not sure if being married cancels out being antisocial, but maybe it was a rare connection you had with your wife.

It’s not like you are talking with her for ages, it’s just a little time. You are lucky to have her I guess if you are quite asocial. It definitely doesn’t make it easier.

It’s been suggested elsewhere that I’m a reluctant socialiser rather than asocial because I said I would not be rude if confronted by a social situation. The implication being that you would have to be rude when faced by such a situation to be asocial.

I’m married and yet I’m not very social either. My husband is enough company for me. We don’t go out much to social functions. I’m content enough with his company and the detached company of strangers in public (I like being around people but I’m not much of a talker). Right now I am around people in the library but i am by myself too. I love that - being by myself around strangers and not having to talk to them.

I think it’s very hard to get a concise definition of what asociality is. Here is Wikpedia’s take on it. That description certainly applies to me.


Sounds like me! I am asocial person as I don’t have motivation to socialise - just to be around others in a detached way as I wrote above. I hate social functions and I’ve never really been into parties either. I like solitude, I can entertain myself with a book or a movie or crosswords etc.

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Same here. I don’t really make much effort at all to socialise. Socialisation is something mental health workers push though in a “The more withdrawn you are the more ill you are” kind of way. You’re expected to follow the script and show that you want to socialise. It’s enough for me to see family. When I do socialise I don’t want to get too deeply(emotionally) involved.

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