I think I had been a little too free,need to be more motivated for work.Hope my injured ankles heal soon to have more freedom at work and life
I’m in a situation where I have minimal structure and a lot of freedom. I live in an assisted living center for the mentally ill. We have day treatment Mon. - Fri. 8:00 am - 2:30 pm. It’s about the right amount of structure for me. We have a couple of short groups during day treatment, and they have internet computers we can get on at specified times. We also spend some time just drifting around. I have seen assisted living centers with more structure, but I think most of them have about as much structure as we do. Sometimes I wish I had more free time, which is ridiculous because I use very little of the free time I do have constructively. I’m hoping I can get on a productive streak in using my free time.
Too busy. Setting up for a Halloween Dance at the school today and a grade five teacher played dirty pool. They sent me a note asking me to help with the sound. Signed by all of her kids. So now I’m helping with that too. And videoing something happening at 10 am. And setting up for the dance (which I’m DJing). Gonna be so fried tonight.
Pixel.
I’ve been entirely too free lately. I haven’t had an actual psychotic episode in over two years, but I have anxiety that’s through the roof and I commonly experience panic attacks. I dropped out of school last spring and didn’t have my financial aid paperwork in for 2015-2016, and every time I try to apply for jobs I start worrying that I’m going to fail miserably and I start panicking (I quit my last job in the middle of a panic attack)…
I have a list of things that I told myself I’d fill my time with, but I don’t often do them because I always feel guilty when I do. I feel like they’re self-indulgent and I should be doing more productive things like working or actively seeking a degree instead of focusing on “me” with things like yoga, meditation, journaling, art, writing, etc…even volunteering made me feel guilty for not contributing to the economy itself. I’d hoped to use it as a lower-pressure step toward gainful employment. Since I wasn’t being paid, I figured I wouldn’t worry as much about my success or failure, and could get used to following schedules/rules/etc. again. But every activity I try to do makes me feel guilty or like people are judging me, even when they’re doctor-suggested/endorsed activities.
So I end up doing nothing at all
Eek, you’re gonna be exhausted! Hope all the activity and requests has a positive affect, though. I know I’m happiest when I have things on my plate…
I’m about just right. I work in the morning and go hiking in the afternoon. In the evening I go out and dinner with mom every night. I feel I can manage it. If I lose some weight successfully, I might look for another part time job.
I’m busy, with school and driving school. Really tired today and it’s only 2pm
Busy with two jobs but it’s not that bad
I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed…
too busy… school and job… and stuff I said I’d help with…
I got too much on my plate right now…
Just one more week… and it will be eased up a bit.
If I can last… there has been some head circus trying to come back.
Too free. I need a job.
Too free. I work charity shop, two mornings
I go another vol job Monday afternoon
And I do yoga on Thursday afternoon but I want to find more stuff to do. If I could do paid work I would do but illness doesn’t allow