I cant tell who is real or fake. I dont hear voices anymore but people keep following, staring, analyzing me. I know this is real, it cant be fake. Too many coincidences, it all makes too much rational sense… everything except why its happening in the first place.
The only question is can I even post here. Am I safe
You’re safe to post here. Feeling that people are fake is a kind of derealization, you may need a med adjustment for that.
I know for sure people are following me or at least monitoring me. They meds dont do anything to help it. I just feel like since I have voices they feel noone will listen to me when I call them out. I think they might have put a keylogger on my computer
That delusion is going to take time to overcome. I don’t think anyone’s keylogging me anymore but I used to, two years ago.
I still think I’m being watched, but the belief changed from “government is spying on me” to “God and his angels are watching 24/7.” Once I can stop the voices 100% then I will probably forget about that too.
No one is spying on you here, most don’t even know who you are
How do you deal with it? I want to not care that there are people watching me (or that Im deluded who ■■■■■■■ knows) but they show up and mess with my life and it breaks me again
I guess Im just afraid theyll find out
Abilify is a way to get out of the matrix, it stops thought broadcasting. Even a 2 mg low dose has helped me stop ideas of reference about 60-70%. Eventually I’m going to take 10 mg; that dose has helped some people on the forum stop their thought broadcasting altogether.
No one can find out unless you tell them
I would talk to your pdoc about how you’re feeling. As @naturallycured said, you may need a med adjustment. Hang in there.
I think you are safe here.
What could they do to you. What would they find out?
Good job! Even though it felt risky, you reached out and posted here! That is how you are going to overcome the thoughts and feelings. Even if they do not go away, and I am hoping for you that they do, you can still make decisions about what is meaningful, purposeful, and fulfilling. Proud of you!
I’m not following you or monitoring you. Honestly, the worst I get up to is I occasionally go into supermarkets and stick googly eyes on product packaging when the staff aren’t looking.
Today I was in Lowe’s and they had a camera screen on the end of the aisle. They are always watching. You could see yourself in the aisle on the camera.
I used to think every one was in on it. I even thought my wife was in on it. And my son. And my parents. I didn’t talk to anybody when it was bad.
I had good reason too also. It’s in my book if I ever finish it and publish it. But with strangers you never know.
I don’t think they (my family) are in on it anymore.
Eventually you get used to being paranoid and delusional and it doesn’t really bother you anymore.
When I first started posting here I wanted to delete everything I wrote for fear of retaliation from them but after a certain period of time you can’t edit your posts anymore. I thought this site was even in on it when I could no longer go back and edit what I said.
You will get better. It just takes time.
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