Forgiveness is central to my faith so I try to practice it to the best of my ability. HOWEVER, I do not equate it with an erosion of boundaries or a memory wipe of harmful acts committed against you. I understand it’s a purely subjective notion as well, and I wouldn’t say an unwillingness to forgive automatically means a person is hard-hearted.
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I think people confuse being hard, or cold, with being heartless.
I’m not heartless, but I am assertive, and brutally honest. I strongly believe in ripping the bandage off, and not dancing around issues. Get to the point.
People want to be coddled tho, so it’s easy for them to assume I just don’t care, when really, they’re not holding their own, and pushing it off on me.
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I forgive for most everyday things, little lies, breaking a promise, someone being grumpy and rude one day, etc.
I even forgave my sister, for trying to kill me, when we were teens. I’ve since cut her out of my life, though, because she is just so toxic.
But I will never forgive my rapists. I had several, over 5 years time. I wish I had reported them… but there’s a statue of limitations, which I’m long past. I hate them. They treated me like a piece of meat, no feelings, nothing more than a body.
I’ve mostly healed from the abuse, but I still hate the abusers.
The whole idea that I should forgive them, for myself, is BS. They severely traumatized me. I’m not just gonna let that go.
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Forgiveness isn’t an invitation for someone to abuse you again. It means you let go of the anger that comes with the abuse. It’s very freeing.
I disagree, for myself. I’m not constantly thinking about my anger. It doesn’t cause me any harm to be angry at them. It’s like a subtle anger, not a boiling anger.
Instead, it makes me feel in control of the situation, so many years later. They wanted to break me, they saw me as weak. Well, I’m proving to myself that I’m strong and that they didn’t win.
That’s my view on it.
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Why do you feel like that bro? That’s not your destiny. Maybe you’re just depressed
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I think you both make a great point. I think Aristotle (it may have been Plato or Socrates) has said that there is a sort of difference between sheer hatred kind of anger and being completely aloof of all evil. I think it’s called “righteous indignation”.
And it’s a matter of practical wisdom to know how angry and for how long etc
The best way I’ve heard it put is to “hate what is evil”
So to sort of forgive all people for what they’ve done to you BUT also be angry when you see evil done and be indignant about it so that you can resist it and fight against it.
Hate the sin, love the sinner kind of thing I suppose
That’s my 2 cents 
I used to be very forgiving with most people. Schizophrenia has changed this.
If I have been wronged, but, they do not apologize or explain, I will not forgive them. They are unworthy of it.
I’m not. I just dont really care and am happy I’m. Honest truth, my man.
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That’s how I feel. I ran into my abuser a year ago and he said, “what the ■■■■ are you staring at?” I carry pepper spray now bc of that soulless piece of garbage and if he ever does that again I will be making a scene.
I can forgive the bullies and customers and just your everyday ■■■■■■■ but that thing who used me in a fish house at ten years of age deserves to be racked and hanged.
Sorry @Blossom
I have thick skin but some things are too hard to even consider forgiving.
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As long as I am stable, with no delusions or anything, and if the person isn’t making me the target or laughs at me, I will be able to forgive.
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