I usually complain like the victim but recently, I’ve been thinking that I victimized my parents. No doctor has come to me from that angle of mental illness before. I wish they had. That puts more responsibility and control on my shoulders which is something I need.
4 Likes
An eye for an eye? A tit for a tat?
Abraham hit me with a wiffle ball bat.
You had to have some good moments in life chordy. You should reflect on those more.
1 Like
Yes please look at something you liked before and use that now before you get too deep into this depression.
As long as you’re not using it as a tool to abuse yourself, I think it’s good to think of yourself as being in control. I think we all can get caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves. It’s healthy to look at it from both sides.
Just don’t get too caught up in it, Chordy. Relationships are two way streets.
3 Likes
I think hurt people, hurt people. I think most family stuff can be summed up by that in a nutshell, even though it is all very complicated at a closer look. I think that’s why we have a responsibility to try to heal. If you don’t want to hurt others, you have to heal your own hurt, first.
3 Likes
Think of the hurt received as coming from another who has hurt too. I can’t help but think your parents didn’t intend to hurt you intentionally, but didn’t know any better.
If you dig into the way they were raised, you’d probably find they thought the same of their parents too.
The hurt keeps hurting all the way home.
3 Likes
Yes, I can see that my parents could never get away from the hurt of their parents.
There are things I wish my parents hadn’t done, but I feel like they did the best they could. They did a lot for me.
1 Like
I’ve met several guys who told me, “I swore I’d never be like my dad, and I turned out just like him.” Maybe knowing that made them less judgemental about their fathers.
1 Like
I think that’s an empowering revelation. We are all just humans trying to get by as best we can. My mom passed six years ago, and there were some heavily unresolved issues, but it was after her passing that I learned how very difficult her life had been, and that she suffered deep depression (and who knows what else), and even tried to commit suicide when my four oldest siblings were little. She had her own story, and ofcourse so does my dad. Not so different from me after all. I wish I had understood her better when all the time I thought she didn’t understand me.
2 Likes
I don’t blame my folks for my illness but they can be a bit cruel every now and then. My mum in particular often comments on the impact of my illness on the family.
i never blamed my parents, i never blamed anyone, it rests on my shoulders and its up to me to deal with it best i can and that is what i am doing, its good you are seeing things differently may it give you some peace, take care
1 Like
My parents…
I don’t know what to say and can’t say what I’d like to. I don’t hate them, that’s all I have to say.
1 Like
I don’t think I have ever made my parents feel guilty about my illness.
1 Like
the only thing that i was angry about was having to go out to the shop with the dog, i’m lucky the dog was there though bc my paranoia was really bad at that time and he protected me,
they asked me to go out and i felt obliged to do so but i wasnt forced to go out, i felt pressurised to do something to help out and i thought it was the least i could do and i put the pressure on myself, at least they know i was trying and hoping that it would help me.
I feel like i victimize my parents a lot. In all honesty most days i just feel like a burden on my parents like it would be better off if i wasn’t in their lives at all. Then maybe they could go on living theirs