Schizophrenia.com

Are people talking to me? Or are they believing in me?

I don’t actually hold any conversations with anyone. I mean I never really did. Once I hear someone talk it’s like they have all the power of the world and everyone is behind them. So I usually just nod and say “yeah” during the conversation. And when it’s my turn to talk, I try to remember what we were talking about while saying what I am trying to say. So on the way home I am just holding on to something but it only amounts to nothing because I can’t remember anything.
But I always think that people are still talking to me even when I’m alone. And when it’s time to start talking to someone I just fall apart and I don’t know what to do.
I like what I am doing at the age of 33. I never had a social life and I don’t know any people out of the family except people I work with.
I don’t want to be bothered but I do like to meet some women.
So I don’t want to feel like I am provoking a conversation when I am talking to someone.

Sometimes when people are talking to me it is as if I am so stuck in place and frozen that all I can do is nod and say “yeah”. This happened the other day when somebody was asking me if I had her phone number and all I could do was nod and say “Yep” when in fact I had been meaning to get her number as she can help with watching my niece if I have an appointment or group to go to. This happens to me all the time, for me it seems to be anxiety and social phobia.

Hey I’m with you on meeting those women though! I haven’t met many women I was remotely interested in for years…and the one or two I have hit it off with were fifteen years older than I and had boyfriends…

Yeah, I had a doctor who would talk and talk to me and I would listen until, finally, it became apparent to me that he did not believe in me the whole time he was talking to me.

The best thing if your not connecting is just to humor people. We all do that. I just nod my head and say “right”. The problem with relationships is that you have to put up with other people’s foibles, but you have to do that to have friends. You need to overlook their faults so they will overlook yours. The alternative is a lonely life.

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I just nod and say yeah all the time. I want to be around people but I still get bored when people are talking to me and the mind tends to wander. This is an all time low as far as the friends I have access to but I think it’s all up hill from here. Got to find an avenue to meet new people. Some girls would be nice

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It depends on how long the conversation is. Some times even my sis or my closest friend will go on and on about something and I can’t keep my concentration enough to follow what they are saying. Eventually their voice just becomes a wave of back ground noise washing over me.

Sometimes I will remember to be polite and ask people to repeat a bit of what they said. But other times I get distracted and walk away.

But if people keep their questions or answers somewhat short… then I can keep up. I working on trying to pay more attention, but I’m not there yet.

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When I try to humor people they have no idea what I’m saying and they usually seem like I was supposed to be with them the whole time. And I get so lost when I go over the top. It takes a while to readjust to whatever I’m readjusting to.