I cut my dose in half its been like 3 weeks. No improvement in negative symptoms. Before I was on half dose for over 2 years my negative symptoms were better. I feel like being on meds for over 13 years permanently damaged my dopamine receptors. I already went off meds for a month with no improvement in negative symptoms before.
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I know being on APs caused permanent damage for me.
They robbed me of my easily entertained, more optimistic attitude.
Being off of them I do feel better,
But I feel like that side effect is forever.
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Same for me.
I used to be energetic, vibrant, positive, sharp. Medication changed my energy. I have negative symptoms. Melancholy. Irritability. Fatigue. Disorganization. I was never like that.
Secretly I feel if I demand it very angrily, psychiatry will give me the old self back, that they robbed. Sometimes. It obviously doesn’t work that way. 
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For me…and I think for most sz…its extremely hard to tell whether its medication or sz itself that causes the majority of the negatives.
I dont enjoy things as easily either. My Anhedonia is not as bad as it used to be but it’s still there. I imagine I will never have the same degree of easy enjoyment that I did 10 years ago.
IDK…seems like this is a never ending query. Meds, Sz, both? Do meds do permanent damage in this area? Does Sz?
I dont know , but I can tell you that I have had an MRI and EEG recently and, even though I know I am altered from 10 years ago, its obviously not easily detected on these tests. At least in my case. They said I am normal.
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Yeah I have a half-sister who was on low-dose abilify for 2 years and even she said she feels a change in personality, sex drive, etc
Me, I stare into space a lot and I have to mask it by trying to look reactive but the abilify+lurasidone combo has definitely shaved off a few brain cells which doesnt help
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My antipsychotics dont do enough a pretty good amount of feeling out of control. Im sure what you guys are experienced is the same discomfort, this thing sucks
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I find it difficult when people blame this on my character. Like docs or family. I want to take responsibility for things that are really me. But this feels like someone drops ghb in my drink, and then complains that I act weird.
That said. I do think of ways to change it.
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never want psychosis again and meds help
my mind is damaged from hardship
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meds keep a lid on your mind
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Not mine right now, just added a new med because i feel so out of control, 3 nights in, im alright ive just gotta keep up but its not fun. I feel like i was in control of myself 2/3 the time but it just took over. Calm thats all i can do
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Are you doing this with medical supervision (like checking in with doc)
And yeah I think this too
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They ain’t called head shrinkers for nuthin
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psychosis causes worse brain damage…no thank you…I love my ap so I’m fine.
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It’ll be interesting to see what Karxt and some of the other new compounds coming out do for us long term. Maybe a few years of being off D2 blockers will allow our brains to heal from some of the damage they’ve done.
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I genuinely dont feel like the meds are that bad amymore. I feel aside from a little sedation, im doing very well.
Not enough to stay in a job, but enough to function in lower stress situations.
Remote working will be ideal for me.
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In 2009, the day after I started my first AP, I ended up in the hospital and diagnosed with brain lesions. I’m not sure if it’s related or not.
I immediately went off the AP and took Lithium for possible bipolar (I had no mania but did have depression and anxiety). I stayed on mood stabilizers until 2014 when I ended up with a different diagnosis and back on APs.
I’m not really sure if brain lesions caused mental illness or meds caused lesions or what.
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My negs have generally been the same on and off APs for the last three decades. I have had scans over the years and I am told my brain looks normal for my age each time.
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The Dr allowed me to cut my dose in half to 3mg risperidone but if I want to go lower I need to see him again. He made me stop my meds for 2yrs before but I became psychotic. I was on 3mg for years stable but had anger issues. Now I am back on 3mg and no more anger issues. Negative symptoms are the same no improvement so I am tempted to stop meds and try Wellbutrin. I would like Adderall but my pdoc won’t prescribe it neither Ritalin. I was on Wellbutrin before it didn’t help but maybe thats because I was on double dose risperidone.
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Which came first sz or the meds?
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6mg I was on blocks 80% of dopamine D2 receptors, 3mg blocks 70% and 1mg blocks 50%. Thats too much. Effective dosage blockade is said to be 60+%. Maybe thats why I don’t have any psychosis. I am afraid if I go down to 1mg below 60% blockade I will get psychotic. I was stable on 10mg Abilify before but had bad side effects, I get no side effects from Risperidone.
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