I’m not sure why I felt this way. I was pretty smart growing up. Up until about 7th grade it was OK. But then in 7th grade on I tried to hide it. I remember in civics class W played a trivia game and I was doing very well but then I lost on purpose. And from then on I started trying to hide it.
I remember when I was 18 I got arrested and did community service and the girl was like “ughghhh it’s 12:04 so how long do we have” and I was like “56 minutes!” and she was like “damn you sure are good at math” in a negative way… Then for a couple years I thought it was cool to be stupid…
I hated being a kid. I always got my ass kicked by the bullies and I lost interest in school and stopped going. It’s a shame as I was doing well at age 12, by 16 the school were glad to get rid of me
Nope I never hid it, I was always proud of my intellect. So when I started dropping down to dead average as I got older and my mental illness got more pronounced it really took a toll on my self esteem.
I liked being smarter than everyone else, but it was definitely not cool. I was a total nerd in school. Now, after all my brain damage, I’m still above average, but I’m not a genius anymore. I miss being the best at everything sometimes, but I’m happier now.
What was more embarrassing was when the teachers would accuse me of cheating in front of the whole class just because I would get all the answers correct on the tests.
I hated any attention, so I started intentionally missing questions so I never got more than a ‘B’.
Most left me alone after that, but still there was one teacher that still felt the need to picked on me.