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Anyone experienced getting dumber?

This is kind of a downer topic, but I’ll put myself out there first, in case anyone wants to relate.

When I was a kid, I was extremely intelligent. This was pretty much my ONLY source of self-esteem, too. I was goofy looking, came from a low income, really messed up family, had poor social skills and rarely a friend, etc. But I was smart as **** and always a teacher’s pet. I was tested for IQ in 6th grade and scored very high, and was placed in all advanced classes going into middle school. I can remember being able to learn things very rapidly, having great memory and self-teach all the materials.

But it seems that starting with my first major episode my freshmen year of high school, every time I have an episode, it’s like I lose some of my intelligence. I have read some things about how psychotic episodes can actually damage the brain, so it makes me wonder if that’s what it is.

I would like to be able to blame it on big pharma (if I’m being honest), but the truth is that I’ve been unmedicated for the vast majority of my life, including in adulthood.

By this point in my life (late 20s) I can definitely tell that my mind is a shadow of its former self. My memory often sucks. It takes me longer to learn simpler things. Just trying to keep up while learning my last job, working in a convenience store, was challenging when combined with the stress. I’m no longer fast and sharp in conversations with other people, either.

I used to be pretty good at debating, very articulate and able to think and respond rapidly, and this allowed me to dive into some really riveting and interesting debates with others about history, politics, philosophy, etc. Now I find it takes real effort just to have normal conversations most of the time.

I know that part of it is probably a cerebral narcissism streak, but I find this aspect of whatever I have to be the worst and most depressing. When my last pdoc put me on olanzapine and I noticed another drop in my cognitive functioning, it just gave me this KILLMENOW feeling. Just really sucks.

Anyone else noticed loss of mental performance due to episodes over the years? Sometimes it gives me hypochondria about having a brain tumor or like Alzheimer’s in my twenties.

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Its either getting dumber… Or looking back and realizing I was “dumber” than I thought the whole time.

My writing doesn’t represent my visions… My theories about different mechanical inventions need revising… Man all i’m good at is sounding smart in convo…

I still have 100s of different neurotic triggers left to unravel… And i’m losing my concern to care about that at all… Hitting a comfortable plateau in recovery.

Still… I am trying to rebuild some of the knowledge I used to have.

Milli centi kilo mega giga tera…

Tan = sin/cos

Sin^2 + cos^2 = 1

Pythagorean tripplets are not 30-60-90 triangles

Small things like that…

Just remembered yesterday that the base unit for energy is the joule… E = ma… Mass being kg… Acceleration being m/s^2… Joule’s dimensionality is kg*m per sec squared…

All these things I’m going to need to know when I get back into school.

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Yeah that’s a possibility, too.

Part of me feels like my new perspective is that my former intelligence wasn’t worth much in the first place. I mean I was never able to really do anything worthwhile with it.

But then I’m not sure what is really going on there, like if I have exchanged some intelligence for wisdom, or if I am just trying to make myself feel better about it lol.

Yeah.

I was a pretty intelligent kid too. They say I was so conversational as a baby it was a little scary. I was unusually aware at a very young age as well, which explains why I can remember so much from such a young age. Wasn’t the math and science type ever, which is sort of upheld over other sorts of intellect. I was gifted artistically, socially and verbally. Had an IQ test (that stuff is bull) in third grade when I went to private school and it was impressive.

After what I’ve been through it’s amazing I’m not sitting in the corner drooling though. I’ve definitely suffered cognitively, scored a 110 on an IQ test I was given at 23. They’ve never told me what it was the first time, which is odd because every other record from my childhood was kept, but it must have been quite the step down.

It’s like, what could I have been you know? It sucks but then I’m not drooling in the corner and it may take the rest of my life but at some point I’m gonna come through with some proof, if even for myself, that I accomplished before the age of 17. So far my family’s spent enough money to buy a modest home trying to convince me that these memories and flashbacks are delusions.

Yeah… Sad stuff…

I’m still pretty functional though… It’s more like a dose of modesty I needed to learn a long time ago that wouldn’t have set in otherwise… At least that’s how I prefer to see it.

I agree with you that some of those tests that schools and such give are bull. I found a way to cheat on one of the questions for goodness’ sake.

I wouldn’t say dumber… more like more unreliable. The wit is still there, but it’s far more erratic.

i am becoming more intelligent…it is a nice feeling :heart:
take care :alien:

I have been far more able to utilize my intelligence now, than before I started the Sarcosine. I can say witty things now at will and in a split second, if I wish. As opposed to before, where it was kinda opportunistic and random. Just as an example.

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@schizofriendia that is awesome… :heart:
l-tryptophan (amino acid ) is helping me heaps…they used to use this… pdocs… before prozac.
take care :alien:

Well that is encouraging to read. Hopefully if I can find the right med for me, it will help instead of make it worse.

I have Sarcosine to thank for that particular thing. It has organized and brought out a lot of traits in me I could never fully utilize. My actual psych meds have worked wonders too, but this is what has actually made life worth living.

Oh lol I should have looked it up before responding, I assumed it was another psych med I had never heard of, just saw it was an amino acid. My bad.

I just don’t want people thinking it’s a miracle med that cures everything, by mistake. It has helped me a great deal, but doesn’t always work for everyone. I’m just lucky, I guess. :stuck_out_tongue:

I found when I was on risperdal I had cognitive decline. Risperdal has h1 receptor antagonism as well as a few others that negatively effect the brains cognitive processes. Latuda had brought my autism back and I google all day long now like I used to learning ■■■■ about medicines. Latuda lacks anticholergenic effect unlike risperdal.

I have cognitive symptoms but my intelligence hasn’t changed.

I’m not as sharp as I used to be. I was a pretty smart kid too and got good grades until I got into drugs and drinking at age 15. Then I went downhill. Then I got diagnosed when I was 19 and I couldn’t attend college until I was 24. My grades are a mixed bag. My current GPA is 3.0 and I need only need 4 more classes for my degree. I’ve gotten A’s, I’ve gotten F’s. I discovered I’m a pretty good writer, way better than when I was a kid.

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It is so freaking amazing. I thought it was just a bunch of hype for the longest time. Wish I had tryed it sooner.

Pixel.

I was sold when I saw you highly praising it, and had seen someone a while back also highly praising glutamate based treatment for his schizoaffective disorder. The chances of you both knowing each other is astronomical. I’m so glad I went through with it.

I had been taking glutamates before, but they came as part of a weight training powder containing all kinds of stimulants that made my cardiologist foam at the mouth once I showed him the label. I’m so happy to find a partial replacement that gives me the cognitive kick back. I also use creatine as a supplement, but it’s a very minor boost. I like it for when I’m pumping iron, which I’m trying to get back into.

Pixel.