Anyone else here with narcissistic parent(s)?

Health and Recovery
1

since i was ~12, i started noticing something about my dad that mad me just boil on the inside. he would use conversational tactics to disregard, push aside, or otherwise belittle other people, as a means of control. because of this, i could never let any issue be known, no matter how little or big, if it was confrontational to him.

it never crossed my mind to look into it, but long story short, i ran into some information, and decided to look into it

partially extracted from http://www.reachoutrecovery.com/the-recovery-daily/listicles/10-ways-narcissists-take-control

  • Gaslighting - pretending a real event never really happened
  • Projecting Negative Feelings On You - disowning negativity by pretending youā€™re the negative one
  • Creating Word Salad Conflicts - ā€œcircular conversations, arguments, projection, and gaslighting to disorient you and get you off track.ā€
  • Nitpicking and Game Changing - in short, nothing is ever ever good enough
  • Misrepresenting Your Thoughts, Opinions, and Feelings - pretending to know what youā€™re thinking, maybe this is more paranoia
  • Changing The Subject - completely evading by a conversational redirect
  • Smearing and Stalking - stories and gossip for their purpose, enough said
  • Triangulating - creating a sense that others are also against you
  • Preemptive Defense Posturing - pretending to be nice, to further convince you of the act
  • Bait and Sugarcoating - a loaded comment

in short, a coward, a wolf in sheeps clothing on steroids. and nothing a child should ever have to face

if iā€™m honest, i think heā€™s somewhat to blame to where i am today

anyone else?

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2

I take it you donā€™t have a good relationship with your dad

3

haha! no, no I do not.

4

my mother was narcissistic, but I wound up finding a way to relate to her where I didnā€™t light that up too much and we turned out to have a half way decent relationship as we got older.

5

yeah thatā€™s sort of the direction iā€™m headed, maybe out of necessity for every one else. heā€™s not half bad much of the time, just dense and negative. iā€™m still trying to get past the ā€œall true narcs are evilā€ type of thinking

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6

yeah a lot of people are like that. not sure if it is necessarily narcissistic, it is more inclined to ignorance and lack of respect for others :thinking: ? . I have met people like that, most commonly called ā€˜sociopaths / maybe this is too extremeā€™ they feed on other peopleā€™s misery :confused:

I am a very vain person, because it makes me happy, for example. But it involves around me - maybe narcissistic :thinking: But I strive to be better everyday and improve, I am more focused on myself than others around me :thinking: because Iā€™m all I got. :slight_smile:

If you can move out or live alone or you already are, it is a good escape so you can develop yourself without a contradiction :smile:

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