Anxiety anonymous

Back when I lived in the sober house we were made to go to AA every night. It was always a large group and I had tons of anxiety. The sober house didn’t let me have my klonopin at first and I would have panic attacks every day…especially when AA came around. So my friend Matt (RIP) and I would say “I went to AA, yeah, anxiety anonymous…out in the parking lot in the corner smoking cigarettes”. It became an ongoing joke, whenever we didn’t wanna go inside a meeting we would say “Time for anxiety anonymous” and just sit out in the parking lot smoking cigarettes. Good times…not really but we made the best of it. Miss ya man.


I used to go to NA meetings and had tremendous anxiety in the meetings too, mainly because most of the people there would die if they used again and I felt they kind of looked down on me because I was there to get off marijuana use. ha It didn’t take. I was too nervous and went back to smoking weed. I still smoke it and I don’t have a problem because it hardly cost me anything anymore.

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Yeah my neighbor doesn’t smoke but buys weed anyway as a decoration for his apartment, and then when people come over they’re welcome to smoke. He’s the crazy one, not me. But I smoke a little when I go over his apartment. I noticed ever since I upped my abilify from 20 mg to 25 mg I don’t get paranoid and anxious anymore. I never drive or anything like that anymore though. I like to just stay inside after smoking…don’t even like riding as a passenger in a car if I smoke.

Good story, kinda sad though.

Yeah it is very sad. Because if he took AA more seriously he probably would’ve lived. practically 15 years of xanax, coke, adderall, drinking, and percocets and he suddenly collapsed a couple weeks ago…not an overdose, just health problems. Which could have been helped if he had wanted to be sober. But I can’t blame myself, I figured he would live a long time the whole time I knew him, never thought he’d just collapse dead one day at 28…■■■■.

I roomed with the guy, went tubing with the guy, rapped with the guy, made a song with the guy, did so many other things with him. Then we hear the news.

Yeah, that’s too bad. AA saves lives but you gotta want it.

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