A mild one I think but it’s still pretty gross. No such thing as a pleasant depressive episode. Had my moment of realization yesterday that I’m not just seeing warning signs I’m going into an episode, I am in one.
It explains so much, why life just feels ugly and bad and unsatisfying right now, why I’m suddenly not happy with my puppy and feel overwhelmed by her, the feelings of being a failure.
I know depressive episodes are just like getting the flu or some other gross sickness in that they’re horrible while you’re sick but they eventually go away and you get better again. You just have to stick it out. I guess I am somewhat concerned I got another episode despite being on both depakote and vraylar, but the thing is I was under a massive amount of stress and fallout episodes from that is normal for me. I am lucky it is not more severe than it is and to me that should say my meds are working. Still I’ll tell my pdoc when I see him next week.
summary: I’m depressed again, probably a fallout from the massive stress of the past few weeks. It explains a lot and makes me feel less guilty for not feeling happy about my puppy now. I don’t feel happy about anything right now, not just her. I know this will pass. It’s just hard right now.
@Anna. This reaction to a new puppy is probably more common that not. It can be overwhelming initially because a puppy has alot of needs. I think you’ll find it will get easier as the puppy settles in and as you get more comfortable with dealing with puppy care and with puppy shenanigans.
Are other family members helping with the puppy? That would give you a break now and then to focus on your own needs.
Only my mom is helping. It is a LOT of work between the two of us and I think we are both burnt out. When one of us is gone the other is left puppy sitting for hours. We have 8 people in my house and if everyone took care of her for an hour things would be so much easier. Instead it’s half and half between my mom and I and puppy is up from like 6 am to 11 pm. (Because my dad doesn’t want her put to bed before him because she cries and it disturbs his quiet time-note he also refuses to put her to bed so that means I get her)
That’s too bad that all the puppy care is falling on you and your mom’s shoulders. The puppy will probably bond the most with you and your mom so that will be a long term positive for both of you. Unfortunately, that won’t necessarily help with the near term stress.
I am her favorite currently I just feel horrible because I don’t feel love and like I’m bonding with her I just feel obligated. But actually I do remember a coworker mentioning she was the same with her puppy. It will just be hard for a while.
I felt that way with my Labrador retriever (my first dog). She was so rambunctious as a puppy and so much work. She became my best friend and I still miss her. We had a great life together for the 14 years I had her.
My current little dog was easier, mainly because I got her when she was already 5 months old do she was over the worst of the puppy shenanigans phase by then.
Our corgi (precious dog) I think was not a very rambunctious puppy, I remember her being very laid back and go with the flow. Our current puppy throws temper tantrums at every little thing, runs off and is very stubborn in general. However our corgi grew up to be quite feisty and sassy!! Maybe our new puppy will be the opposite
I just feel horrible because I don’t feel love and like I’m bonding with her I just feel obligated. But actually I do remember a coworker mentioning she was the same with her puppy. It will just be hard for a while.