I think I’ve got better judgement of stuff when I enjoy them or not. Like last week I went to a gig as a birthday outing thing and it turned out I found it to be just okay and was fine with that. Being fine with that is a big thing for me as for a long time I’ve been expecting in every interaction or outing to feel something spectacular and I think I finally realise that it’s not a healthy way to be, as I would devalue all my experiences by expecting a 10/10 time.
Anhedonia for music is getting better also. I recently listened to the new album by Panda Bear and I can’t stop listening to it. It’s got infectious melodies and great vocals, the production is stripped back too which gives way for good songwriting. This gives me hope that things will be great at Glasto. By taking away my expectations, I’m allowing myself to have a more organic experience which is what I want.
the only thing I need to work on is my inactivity, In my free time I don’t do much except for listening to music, taking walks and napping. It feels like there’s an inability to derive pleasure from stuff like reading because I get bogged down by how little I can read and how there’s so much to go to finish the book, also the fact that I find it hard a lot of the time to retain what I’ve read, my memory is goldfish-like.
I don’t know how I’m gonna remedy that