Anger keeps me pinned and can trigger... Pondering again

Health and Recovery
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I understand completely the anger that the injustices of the world can generate… and how having been what we’ve been through can make us angry… If I let it… It can fester and make me very very angry.

Rightfully so. Anger is a valid emotion… how we use that anger…

for good… for motivation… for the spark of change…

Or for indignation and condemnation… and self destruction…

That makes all the difference.

Keeping a hold of that anger… letting it circle round and round pins me into more anger and locks me in place and then that downward spiral begins… the anger grows… the hope fades and forward direction stops.

I start to obsess on the negative… I get anxious… the stress of the injustice grows… more and more… stack upon stack and the more I think about it… the deep in the anger and chaos I am mired.

For me too… anger will trigger anxiety. I’m angry about something… I begin to try and get people to understand why this situation is so unacceptable… then I’m angry at them for not understanding… then I don’t trust them for not understanding … then I don’t trust them for anything…

Then I start not trusting them to even be in my life… if they don’t understand how serious something is… how can they understand me personally. Then if they are not with me… they must be against me. It all just grows from there.

I’ve taken a lot of anger management classes to get out of this jagged box. To break free and acknowledge the anger… but don’t let it take up residence in my heart.

I have to let go of that anger… cool it down and let flow away.

The more I let go… the more I channel it into something different… the more I can change not only myself… but the people around me. I can reassure them that yes… I’m concerned… but there are ways to do something about what’s concerning me.

I do have to let go of a lot… because anger pins me to one spot. But to let it go… think about something else… try to sink that anger into music or an act of creation rather then destruction… that is how I move forward.

The vessel is only so big… and can only hold so much… pour out the anger and it makes room for love.

A lot of that is also invested in forgiveness and acceptance of a few things…

May the love flow back into your lives and grow.
There is hope in the world…

needed to ponder this one out of my head…

Thank you.

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I don’t get very angry anymore. I don’t feel strong emotions at all, really.

Looking back at my life living with mental illness, I found that a lot of the things that angered me were really overreactions / symptomatic of schizophrenia rather than genuine concerns.

Everyone has a right to be upset; I just try to keep in mind that I also have an illness that might be interfering with my perception of a situation or circumstance.

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As always. Great ponder! :purple_heart:

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You’ve had a lot of experience in dealing with anger it looks like. I usually only get angry during arguments, and it motivates me to drive my point home.

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i can relate to much of what you wrote here. thanks for sharing this perspective and best to you.

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Thank you…

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For a very long time… I’ve only had three colors in my emotional crayon box. Everything else got stripped away. I’ve had to sort of relearn what I’m feeling. Anger was the strongest. Sometimes I was try to get angry so I could feel something. Because it was better then the nothing.

But something has been happening to the brain these past two years and I’m relearning a lot of stuff I lost.

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It is like waking up again. Part of your brain has almost been in a coma of sorts.

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Anger kills. It kills everything, and gives nothing in return.
It’s good you can corral that dangerous emotion and tame it.
Life is so much better not angry.

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That is exactly what it feels like in many cases. Another thing that strikes me is how many things in life I never paid attention to… or how much of my life was just eaten away when I was at my worst.

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This is just what I need to read. Thanks.

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